How to overcome the fear of communication?

A person from the earliest childhood is surrounded by other people. However, nevertheless, for many people contact with the society is often a source of problems. It would seem that if we constantly communicate with our environment, we should not have any fears for people. But for some reason, before public speeches, the need to hold important meetings on work and in a number of other similar situations, when we need to prove ourselves, it turns out that we are not ready for this. How to overcome your fear? How to become self-confident?

In some cases, fears can be explained by some painful phenomena that affect the psyche, becoming sources of social phobias, when a person does not want to leave the house at all, and is afraid of communicating with other people. But such cases are rather rare.

Quite different is the situation when a person is healthy, but for certain reasons he experiences certain difficulties in social contacts. For example, people are confident in their own rightness, but they can not defend their point of view. Others do not know how to express feelings so that they are understandable to people close to them. Some, because of their own modesty and aggravated sense of tact, are afraid to establish contact with a person who likes them. They seem to be restraining something from within, not allowing to build social relations. Someone depends on someone else's opinion, is afraid of evaluating views and therefore keeps all the time in the shadows, although secretly dreams of being a leader. Over time, such problems can lead to bitterness, resentment of the world and closure in the "case". Why is this happening? How to overcome the fear of communication?

The paradox is that avoiding communication for the sake of your own fears is not a protective mechanism. Only at first glance it seems that the closure in one's own world makes life more calm. In fact, this is not so.

Human nature is selfish. If the environment feels your fears, in most cases instead of help from it you can wait only for self-affirmation at the expense of "modest". Undoubtedly, there are units of Samaritans who are able to show sympathy and extend a hand if they see that someone needs it. But, as a rule, people are "predators". Therefore, you need to protect yourself from them yourself. So, how to overcome fear and fight back in a difficult situation?

Insecurity in many is brought up from childhood: strict parents who do not understand the teacher do (albeit unconsciously) a lot to break the personality in the child, require submission. Fears live in most people.

You can overcome fear without resorting to external help. For this you will not need a psychologist, you can even do without the "vests" of friends and relatives.

To get rid of fears and gain self-confidence you need to practice (or practice). Success in sports depends on muscle mass and skill sharpness. Also in normal life, to achieve success, training will be required. Therefore, communicate as much as possible, even if you do not feel the need. Travel companions, shop assistants, neighbors - all can become "simulators" for developing your confidence and getting rid of fears. So you will soon understand how to overcome fear, and will be able to cope with it.

In the process of communication, concentrate on your interlocutor and his external behavior, without trying to understand what he thinks, how he perceives you, and what impression you make on him. You need to learn to focus on communicating with the outside, to forbid yourself "inner monologues-reasoning", which generates the notorious fears. This will allow to see the reaction of the interlocutor, to understand what he means. In addition, so you can find inner balance and get rid of physiological problems in communication (drying throat, stuttering, sweat on forehead) and psychological (you will not forget what to say, and get lost).

You can also resort to the tried and tested method of visualizing your fears - to make a written list, then burn it. It will become a psychological release from what has frightened you before. Only having gained inner freedom and having begun to communicate on an equal footing, you will understand how to overcome fear.