Why are attempts to become happy make us unhappy?

Trying to be happy is like trying to fall asleep. The more you try to sleep, the longer you are awake. Accordingly, the more you try to be happy, the more unhappy become.

Uselessness of the search for happiness

Most people think that happiness is a distant object that they will have to find, catch and hold so tightly that it does not slip out of their hands. For them, happiness is not something that is near, it is in the outside world, somewhere far away, and they are trying to find it everywhere and in all possible ways. This includes the acquisition of material wealth, and the filling of his home with different property, and frequent changes in sexual partners, and the assertion of his power over others, and many other actions. Nevertheless, the more people seek happiness, the more it seems that this ghostly object runs away from them. As the horizon line that moves away when we approach it, happiness seems to be hiding from us in the same way, and then we make every effort to approach it.

But why is that so?

Why do people who constantly try to become happy rarely have happiness? The answer lies in the fact that it can not be found in external sources, but it is necessary to try to open it in ourselves. Regardless of how much money, sex or power you have, you will not be satisfied. Happiness does not lie in achievement, and therefore it will never be found in the future. This is a state of being that can only be experienced at a given moment. You are looking for it, and it is hiding. As soon as you stop looking for it, it itself appears. In fact, it's wrong to even say that happiness was found, because it was always part of our nature, but if we look for it somewhere else, outside ourselves, then we can lose touch with it.

Look deeper

Feeling that we are not good enough, although we are not so and in fact, we are trying to find a way to compensate for our inner emptiness, so we are looking for happiness in the external world. But, no matter how much effort we make, we still feel the inner emptiness and hunger. Money can fill our pockets, but not our soul. Sex can bring us short-term physical satisfaction, but not an inner pleasure. Strength can make us seem courageous in the eyes of others, but can not hide our inner weakness from our own eyes. When we do not accept ourselves as we are, nothing in the world can make us feel happy. External objects can temporarily satisfy our ego, but soon we again come across an inner void.

Remember the pleasant moments

Think carefully and remember when you felt really happy. We mean those moments when your heart jumped for joy, you felt peace of mind or understood perfectly well that life turned into a holiday. Of course, you had such moments when you did not want to change anything at all, but to enjoy an instant. These are moments of love, creativity, play, meditation. Moments when you feel full. Moments when you forgot about trying to be happy.

If you are still looking for happiness, then stop looking for it.

Seeking happiness, a person can not find it, and when he consciously refuses to search, it turns out that he surrenders. So, what can be done?

The answer lies in his search, even if it seems useless. But we must not just look, but it's in ourselves. Search until nothing else comes to your mind. It sounds crazy, right?

The more you seek happiness, the closer you come to the realization that you can not find it anywhere. The more you do this, the faster you realize the meaninglessness of all your efforts. The more effort you put into your search for happiness, the more you will be vomited. In other words, the goal of finding happiness is, in the end, stop looking for it!

However, the process itself helps, because at some point it will make you understand the whole stupidity of this process. When this awareness descends upon you, you will receive exactly what is called happiness. And as soon as you receive it, you can completely abandon all efforts and accept life as it is, and at this moment, in this state of being you will experience happiness in its pure form. Then you will feel that happiness is in you, and everything will become clear.