What about the ex-husband? How to communicate with an ex-husband?

Divorce is an unpleasant event for both. Regardless of the situation, such a need leaves an unpleasant deposit both in the soul of the initiator of the procedure and the defendant. The worst is still the need to call the once-beloved person a former spouse.

Immediately I would like to clarify that the recommendations on how to deal with a former husband will affect the construction of relationships with normal, conscious people and in no way affect men who cause nothing but disgust and panic.

Should I file for alimony?

Payment of alimony can be a real stumbling block in the communication of the former couple. This issue needs urgent consideration, and in an official form. After all, oral and even amicable agreements can eventually turn into regular excuses in order to periodically evade material assistance.

The presence of official papers provides a chance to receive the money due, even if the spouse refuses to do so. A side effect here may be the too low salary of the ex-husband, when the alimony is a mere penny. However, a lot depends on how to behave with an ex-husband. Human attitude usually forces a man to fulfill his obligations in time.

If the former spouse decides to pay alimony on his own initiative, however, his complaisance causes only irritation, it is enough to propose a variant with alimony transfer to a special credit card.

How to communicate with an ex-husband when deciding on the issue of co-education of a child?

If we talk about the relationship of the father with the children, we should not interfere with this desire, establishing too strict rules. Any child needs a full family education. Therefore whatever one may say, it is necessary to see the ex-husband. Naturally, an obligatory condition for visiting the baby is adequate behavior and complete trust.

Communicate with an ex-spouse in the child is necessary in the same way, if the communication took place alone, in other words - as good, long-time friends. At the same time, the son or daughter should not lose the feeling that before him / her there is a former, loving and caring dad. It's enough to talk seriously with the kid, explaining to him clearly why parents can not be together anymore. Under no circumstances should you begin a quarrel in the presence of your own child.

It is not necessary to show excessive pride and even more to take revenge on the former spouse, limiting him in communicating with the child. No matter what happens in the past, the desire to participate in the upbringing of one's own child should be caused only by positive emotions. Not every man sincerely burns with a desire to devote a significant amount of free time to the offspring, because the main attraction for the head of the family is still the spouse.

What about the ex-husband when a new man appears?

Do not seek excuses for one's own intentions. Firstly, personal life with a new man is built after the divorce. And this means that the woman was completely freed from official obligations to her former spouse, especially if the dissolution of marriage occurred at the initiative of the latter.

It is likely that soon the ex-husband will be able to find the same pair in the same way. An excellent means for restoring relationships can be the friendship of families, in the case when the former spouses managed to re-arrange their personal lives. If only one side was able to find a new life partner, the three of us, most likely, will not bring satisfaction, but lead to new conflicts.

We take care of our own future

Thinking about how to be with a former husband, you need to worry first and foremost about your own happiness. The former head of the family should be informed of the onset of drastic changes in his personal life. If at the same time the spouse will not be able to feel in the words of a woman about the relationship with the new man and the note of guilt, it is likely that he will not want to find out the relationship again. Naturally, the presence of common children will force to communicate periodically with the ex-husband, but only if they have the desire to participate in joint education.

Friendship by the rules

Making a plan how to reconcile with an ex-husband, it is often enough to establish clear rules of conduct for both sides of the conflict. The transition to the status of friends can positively affect relations, the main thing is not to depart from the principles.

Establishing their own rules for the formation of new relationships, it is best to start from the following:

1. Divorce is always accompanied by serious stress. Breaking the relationship, it is necessary to give the former spouse some time to soberly think things over and come to their senses. When deciding how to deal with a former husband, you should not act out of temper, trying to put everything in its place once and for all.
2. To begin a friendly relationship follows after the final fading of the heat of passions. As soon as the desire to pelting the ex-husband from the threshold with a whole tub of accusations will go to the past, you can try to stay for a while alongside and not quarrel.
3. It is absolutely not recommended to turn the meetings of former spouses into the beginning of a new relationship. Having agreed on the boundaries of what is permitted, one can avoid unpleasant misunderstandings.
4. Thinking about how to communicate correctly with the former, one should leave in the past any unpleasant memories. Attention should be given to positive moments, good features of a person and his abilities. After a while, the negative will necessarily be forgotten, but only the iridescent events will remain in memory.
5. It is not necessary to roll down to reproaches, as the former spouse can respond in the same coin, and this always leads to even more skirmishes.
6. It should be realized that the breakdown of relations occurred only with the spouse. Therefore, the turmoil in the relations of the former couple should in no case be transferred to people who have already become close during the marriage. Based on this, you can safely continue to communicate with friends and even relatives of the former faithful.

Summing up

It is quite possible to restore human relations with the ex-spouse. The main thing is to consider such communication as a transition to a completely different, more qualitative level of trust. Respect former husbands and even forgive them some of the shortcomings you need especially when a man remains good, attentive to the needs of the child by a person.

Ultimately, the correct organization of relations with the ex-husband not only brings positive, but also tells others about the personal maturity of both parties to the conflict.