Manipulative communication: technologies, goals, examples. Psychology of communication

Each of us at least once faced with such a concept as manipulative communication. This is a kind of form of interpersonal communication, in which one interlocutor psychologically influences the other to achieve their goals. And this is done secretly.

About goals

Manipulative communication implies the achievement of a certain result. Why should someone act on someone at a psychological level? If you can just negotiate or openly press (which is a more rigid option). Well, manipulators are very clever and clever people. They want to get what they need, and look good (from the standpoint of social norms). At the same time, manipulators can avoid revenge, resentment and discontent on the part of the opponent.

By the way, manipulative communication is often called secret coercion. People who know what is good at it, resort to scams, bluffing, machinations, stratagems, reflexive games, provocations, propaganda.

The brightest example that our reality knows is "MMM". A financial pyramid based on a genius (but not honest) person. He managed to get educated, intelligent people to stand in insane queues to give their hard earned money to unknown structures with more than a dubious reputation. They did not act in their own interests. Awareness of what came to them after all the relevant operations.

Life

Features of manipulative communication, we can observe in everyday life. Surely everyone tried to convince everyone at least once, referring to the statements of famous people or to information from authoritative sources. This can be found everywhere. The calculation is this: a person, after hearing a known name, will believe what has been said and act as his opponent wants.

Some do not neglect other techniques. For example, focus on loyalty and devotion. These are the most usual phrases like "You love me!" Or "You're my best friend". But they are the most common. But most often the accents are placed a little differently, like: "You do not love me!" Or "It turns out that you are not my friend at all." There is already a feeling of pressure. A person, hearing this, comes out in anger from the fact that the one who doubts in him, and seeks to prove the opposite by deed. Which is waiting for him from his opponent.

Many technologies of manipulative communication mean demonstrating to a person the benefits that he can get if he does something. This is found both in everyday life and in advertising. But the most vivid example is political agitation.

Pressure on pity - another tricky technique. It is used by people who want to do this or that thing for them.

And the last method, which can be noted with attention, is force and threats. A vivid example is the collectors from the relevant agencies who explain in clear and simple language to people what consequences they can expect in the near future, if they do not settle with the debts.

Other technologies

Above, only some manipulative communication techniques were listed. However, there are many others that can not be ignored.

Many manipulators do not hesitate to address the common sense of the interlocutor. They justify nothing - they just appeal to a person's consciousness. But in fact it is deceptive.

Others turn to the individual. Referring to those or other features of the interlocutor, discussing them. Some resort to ignorance. Literally "fall asleep" people positions and facts about which he does not know. In what he, naturally, hesitates to admit. And if he tries to hint, the opponent looks at him reproachfully and says: "Do not you know this? Well, well ... ", after which, after driving the interlocutor into the paint, he continues what he started. As a result, a person believes a manipulator, considering him a "knowledgeable" person.

Some can still turn to vanity. Using unconcealed flattery and boundless praise, the manipulator counts on softening the position of the interlocutor and his complaisance. It is usually accompanied by a touch of pride: "Can not you do it? I thought better of you, thought you strong and fearless. Your colleague N. certainly would have agreed! "This is also called antipode motivation.

By the way, often manipulations are accompanied by phrases like "But you yourself said that ..." or "That is, you mean that you are capable of this!" When an opponent appeals to the fact that the alleged person himself had in mind, he It literally disarms.

Planning

People who need something serious from their opponent build entire plans, by following which they will succeed in achieving their goal. Usually it takes a lot of time, because at stake is something weighty that you just can not get it.

This is found in the sphere of personal relationships. So, for example, an avid girl, most of all in her life dreaming of a carefree but rich life, was lucky enough to get acquainted with a wealthy person. With her constant confessions of love and faithfulness, she binds the "sacrifice" to herself more and more. True, such people are not stupid, and will have to commit acts to prove their "serious and sincere intentions." But in the end, the trick is to achieve the desired result. Manipulated is deprived of willpower. And the "organizer" of the scam gets the opportunity to manage it.

What else do you need to know?

Manipulative communication and its characteristics is an interesting topic. In brief, it is worth noting the attention to some more signs of a hidden effect.

To avoid it, you need to monitor what and how the person says. He can try to "suppress" his opponent with misunderstood words that have a hypnotic property and a false authority. When the interlocutor begins to focus on feelings, it is also worth suspecting a dirty trick. It is important to maintain an impartiality and try to understand what exactly is hiding under the veil of a trembling voice and the eyes wet with tears.

Many create an artificial background of urgency and sensationalism, which distracts attention and provokes quick and ill-considered actions. In the field of online trading this is often found. Surely, many people came across similar ads: "Sensation! A new tool for losing weight! Minus 15 kilograms per month! Have time to buy a course for only 999 rubles - there are 10 minutes left before the end of the action! "It would seem that the XXI century in the yard, everyone should already know how this works, but still a solid segment of people is" bought "for such tricks.

There is also a reception of crushing. It is widespread today. And many faced it. Here is an example: a person published an announcement on the World Wide Web that he was looking for work. He gets an offer from some cosmetic firm, in which everything is very beautifully told: money is even very big, and it takes only 2-3 hours a day, and holidays at resorts, and official registration, and gifts from the company. A person agrees, starts to contact the "employer", registers, and then it turns out that he will need to buy products of this enterprise for a certain amount, and even persuade others to join. Then more and more interesting details pop up, from which it becomes clear that everything is not so profitable. But a man believed his opponent. But how else if he could not make a choice, in fact, could not? And this is just one example.

Exception from context

Another method that is identical to the above. How to recognize that a manipulative level of communication has come? Very easy and simple. If the opponent is flooded with a nightingale and tells only about the golden mountains. It's still the same sphere of work and business communication.

What does the manipulator do? He takes the whole thing out of the real context. Leaving only what could be of interest to his opponent. So he manages to drive a man's thought into a narrow corridor.

An example is currency trading. This is a real way of earning, but not for everyone and not everywhere. Uneducated people do not particularly understand this, therefore, when they receive an offer from an allegedly authoritative and respectable person, who assures that he ate a dog on this matter, they believe. And the most real manipulative business communication begins . Which grows into something more. Then, as soon as a person becomes a victim, his "authoritative" opponent begins to manipulate his actions: he says where to invest money and how much, how to make a bet and what to do. As a result, the victim comes to the realization that this is pure swindle. It just happens that it's too late.

Business and work

This is an area in which manipulative communication is most often encountered. And it is quite an ordinary phenomenon. The leader does not influence his subordinates by force - he manages them psychologically, creating in them the illusion of freedom and independence.

Whatever the purpose of this type of communication, manipulation is always based on one or another scheme. An excellent model was created by the American psychotherapist Eric Berne. He created an interesting scheme with three ego positions. They are conditionally designated by the scientist as "Parent" (P), "Adult" (B) and "Child" (D). How does the circuit work? You can understand by example.

Suppose a meeting is organized in the firm. And the leader, too, must go there, of which he was informed. But he does not want to. The position of the "Parent" is this: "It is my duty to go. And an example must be submitted to subordinates. " At the same time, "Adult" assures: "Meeting is a waste of time. At me here the table from reports breaks ". And the position of "Child" is this: "If I do not go, the boss will be very angry." As a result, the decision is made as follows: the head goes to the meeting, but takes papers with him to sit down and work on the spot. It turns out a reasonable compromise.

This simple scheme is an auxiliary tool for transactional analysis of manipulations. There is a small psychological struggle and the issue of choice, as well as the distribution of positions.

Types of manipulation in the business sphere

In the theme of business and work, it is worthwhile to go deeper. Since there are very interesting types of manipulative communication.

The reception "I'm torn to pieces", for example. What's the point? The worker himself is called to take on a bunch of errands. And when they try to get this or that result from him, he starts to resent, operate with his congestion, complain that he "fell on". The surrounding people have a feeling of guilt, and they decide not to touch the employee.

Another interesting method is called "The Kazan Orphan". The employee tries not to catch the eye of the authorities. And then he complains to everyone around him that they do not notice him and nobody directs them.

"Child at work" is also a good idea. It's all simple. The employee pretends to be stupid, naive and unhappy, so that his colleagues or the boss condescendingly sigh: "Oh, it's easier to do everything than explain something to him." The most popular excuses of workers in such cases: "Well, I'm not a professor like you!" (The effect is further enhanced by hidden flattery), "I'm a weak defenseless woman!", "I'm too stupid and I'm not fit for anything." Many understand how profitable to be a fool. Here the goals of communication are clear - to facilitate their existence in the team and to receive a salary, parasitizing.

A family

This is another area in which manipulation is common. The technique of "Child in the family" is often used by lazy husbands. Wife instructed to go to the store? Will not buy what was needed. Then the wife herself will go to the supermarket so that she does not have to ruffle her nerves and go shopping again. Of course, not all men are so mean. And it's easy to find out that a woman is married to just such a "shot". Calling the number of children, she will include in her and her husband.

The technique called "Offended" also takes place in such a sphere as manipulative communication. The examples are numerous. One of the spouses, feeling that soon the second half will turn to him with a request to do what he does not want to do, suddenly takes offense. Who will approach a frustrated person in order to ask for something?

In general, the role of communication was initially positive. Only people spoil everything. Their manipulations. Many of them are addicted, and then they wonder why their relationship collapses. Here, for example, another technique, called "If you were not." Both husbands and wives actively use it. In order to cause the partner to feel guilty and start to manage it. "Why did I marry you?" Look how they took care of me, and even businessmen! And the youth has spent on you "- are such phrases rare? No. Maybe once it will manage to manipulate it, but the abuse will lead to divorce.

mass media

We have briefly reviewed family, domestic and professional communication of a manipulative type. Now you can turn to the media. The press is the fourth power, and initially this definition was noble. Journalists at all times did useful work, informed people about everything that is important. But today, more and more often there are mass media that do not refuse to manipulate society. Which they believe. Some media do this in their own interests, while others turn to the "help" of the person who benefits from it.

If the country's most authoritative resource, at a time when presidential elections are planned in the country, will publish voluminous and valid information that candidate N is, to put it mildly, unworthy, then it is likely that people who trust this media are not for him Will vote. When a certain advertisement appears on a well-known channel, its sales start to grow. And there are many such examples. Not to mention the notes, news and articles in which all of the previously mentioned techniques are used by their authors - influence on emotions, rhetorical questions, appeal to conscience and personal perception of the reader, style of presentation and much more.

About the benefits of manipulation

We must not forget what is the main role of communication. It consists in personal and spiritual development. There's nothing to be done - manipulations have always been and will be. In some cases, they are even needed. Sometimes a method of manipulation and persuasion can force a person to do something that in fact will be useful to him. This takes place in education, for example. Parents notice that their son is spending more and more time at the computer, for sure it affects his studies. What to do? Put a password on the computer? It is unlikely that this will benefit the relationship. But if the head of the family at dinner, like an accident, drops something like this in the direction of his wife: "Listen, we have not been at Vanya's school for a long time. It is necessary to choose time, go ", it is possible that in the head of his son" alarm bell "will work and he zealously grab for the books.

There are many examples. They meet in personal relationships, in families, at work, in friendship, in business. Almost everywhere. Manipulation is ubiquitous. Therefore, it is important to remember all of the above to be able to recognize it. In the modern world, this quality will not be superfluous.