Underestimated self-esteem and how to deal with it

According to psychologists, the main reason for many problems of modern man may well be low self-esteem. Let's look at the statistics. It turns out that on the planet 80% of the population does not satisfy their professional status or position in society. How is it shown? Yes, much in what! For example, in the inability to get a good job or the need to engage in unloved and boring activities, some people constantly face problems in the family, others suffer from loneliness or unrealized abilities. An insecure person finds it difficult to find a common language with others, and he, as a rule, is subject to various kinds of phobias.

What to do? All experts unanimously say that if you are determined to be healthy and happy, you have nothing to do but struggle with self-doubt.

In this article, I would like to reveal the essence of this problem, point out the origins of its origin, and also give some tips on how to become more confident, more resolute, and therefore happier.

Low self-esteem. Definition of concept

We all, and I suppose, can not be exceptions, there is a so-called image of one's own "I", which can be regarded as the center of personality. What does it consist of? I would say that, first of all, from the ideal idea of yourself, and this self-awareness, as a rule, is very carefully guarded against any kind of criticism.

In the soul, each of us is confident in his perfection, significance and uniqueness. Why? Yes, because a person simply could not live if he was absolutely sure of his worthlessness and uselessness. That is, initially in each of us, nature laid a certain amount of talent and confidence in overcoming difficulties. But the fact is that every day there are a lot of circumstances that, one way or another, undermine our faith in our own abilities, and that's exactly what causes such negative feelings as insecurity, guilt, fear and complete dissatisfaction with oneself as a result. There is a low self-esteem, aggressiveness, irritability and weakness.

How does an ordinary person act in this case? Do not know? I'll tell you. He begins to shift the blame to others, and he goes deeper and deeper into himself, thereby only exacerbating the situation.

Types of self-evaluation

In general, psychologists believe that there are three types of self-assessment:

• low self-esteem;
• Adequate;
• Elevated.

Without doubt, the best self-esteem is naturalness and adequacy of behavior. Let's see how people behave with different self-esteem. For example, take a mother with a small child.

Children are children. Movable kid rushed around the yard, fell several times, bleached his knees and palms, shoes, of course, are not very clean. Mom with low self-esteem will be ashamed of the child and will try to leave home as soon as possible, so that none of the neighbors will notice the "exploits" of her child.

A mother with adequate self-esteem is always ready for this kind of adventure, so in her pocket there are wet wipes or a handkerchief. The kid will not even notice how it will turn into cleanliness again.

Well, a parent with an overestimated self-esteem will try to turn slovenliness into a kind of feat, noting before the other moms that her child is the most gifted (fast, brave, brave), and dirty clothes are just superfluous proof of her rightness.

Underestimated self-esteem: how to deal with this

Immediately I wanted to warn you that you should not count on a quick, and even more short-term result. This process can take quite a long time. Why? It seems to me, because a person has to change his way of thinking and his own perception of himself, and this in no way can happen overnight.

So, underestimated self-esteem is a problem everyone can handle if desired, for this it is only necessary to try to adhere to the following tips:

• Never compare yourself with other people. You are you! Remember once and for all. Yes, it's possible that you do not have something important that your friends have, but, believe me, they envy you in something.
• Do not scold yourself and at all costs avoid comments aimed at self-deprecation.
• For complements you need to thank, and not try to refute them.
• Surround yourself with positive people.
• Think and make a list of personal achievements and positive personal qualities. They are guaranteed to eat!
• Give more than you receive.
• Do only what you like.
• Live your own life.