Loving - It's Simple! (part 1)

"I love". A meaningful phrase. It's much easier to say "I'm a fool!" Than to admit to someone in love. In the first case, there is a statement of the fact of its stupidity, in the second case - the responsibility vested in itself and on the partner. Everyone invests in the concept of "Love" his own, only known, sense. But the essence is one. Absolutely everyone loves. But they love in different ways. In a man-woman relationship, in most cases, the same thing happens. Furious passion for his second half, consisting in the idealization of this. A person who loves does not notice anything, except the object of his adoration. But this, alas, is not love. This is a common concept, like falling in love. All experienced this moment. The moment when it seems that there is absolutely nothing in the world, except for it (him). And all life is subordinated only to one person. Infatuation is the projection of the ideal partner image. At this stage, there is an idealization of feelings, emotions and actions. Everything seems natural and beautiful. And therefore brings endless pleasure. There is such a thing as "donation". So that's it. In the stage of falling in love, both partners act as accepting gifts. And considering this fact from the point of view of commonplace ethics, they admire each other. But, unfortunately, the stage of falling in love is short-lived. It lasts from a couple of days to a couple of years. It's time for the participants of the game, called "falling in love", to remove their masks. The fact is that during the period of falling in love both partners try to show themselves from the best side. This is the response of one to the idealization of the other. You can draw an analogy with animals - during the mating games, many of them begin to show their best qualities (for example, male peacocks fluff their beautiful tail to show the female what they are beautiful). It's the same with people. Love either ends, or grows into love. Unfortunately, the realization of this transition is different for all. The realization that the period of incessant happiness and ecstasy each other ended. The realization that before you is not the same person that was before. Infatuation ends when one partner (or both) decides to show their true nature, trusting another. Either to test the truth of feelings, or to break the relationship. At this stage, conflicts begin. And both explicit, in the standard sense, and intrapersonal (why do I need all this? I love him (her), really). Often conflicts are childish. In each of us is a deeply saddened "offended child," who only knows that he says: "I do not want to! I can not! I will not! It is necessary! Will not give it back! My!". It is very difficult to overcome these childish impulses, trying to establish normal relations. An interesting fact is when a man and a woman, while still being children, have a real child to overcome their "childish" motives by becoming "adults".

You do not need to perceive the conflict as something not normal. This is just an excuse. Just a tool to identify the true causes. In any conflict, you need to be able to distinguish a fine line, and not to blame an opponent, and try to understand yourself. Understand what pushed YOU to this conflict. Just sort out yourself. Love is not a gift, but a gift. Donating yourself to another person. Love is work. First of all above yourself. Now, the concept of love is popularized. From the radio receiver, TV, from the street, from the social network, it comes to us: "I love, love, love." Time erases the essence of concepts. The only thing that remains unchanged - saying "love" you need to be confident in your feelings and yourself, for from the moment this phrase is pronounced, the stage of TWO begins. To lie about love is worse than not just not loving. Saying "I do not love" to a loving person, after he trusted and believed in love, is worse than stabbing him in the back. Much more painful.

Many consider a stronghold of love - family and marriage. In my opinion, it is also ridiculous how to consider a stronghold of faith in God - the church. Love, like true faith, must come from the soul. From the heart. It is impossible to combine sexual, domestic and love harmony in marriage. The prejudices of monogamy make themselves felt. Most couples make an alliance at the stage of falling in love. And statistics show that not many can overcome the stage of the transition of falling in love with love. Awareness of the need for each other, the realization of love and attraction to man, the realization that this is the person with whom you can (and need) to live your whole life - one of the few incentives for marriage. And not love.

The question of love is complex for discussion, because everyone experiences it in their own way. I'm not trying to impress anyone. But if my article makes you think and at least something will help - I will be very happy. To be continued ...