If the child does not obey, psychologists advise to present themselves in his place

Sooner or later, every mother notes that her child has become disobedient. "He does everything on the contrary, as if to spite" - you often hear from young parents. If it is a question of nursing children, everything is clear here, they understand very little and just try to get to know the world. But what to do when older children begin to behave in defiance of adults?

Especially difficult in this respect is the age from 2 to 4 years. This period is characterized by an expression of protest: the child does not listen for 4 years, does not want to follow the instructions of the parents, rolls "hysterics", throws toys and objects, expressing dissatisfaction with the restrictions. Unfortunately, this stage of child development can not be avoided, but it can be predicted and somewhat smoothened.

In order to build the right line of behavior, if the child does not obey, it is necessary to understand the reasons for his disobedience. Psychologists identify the following causes of disobedience of children:

1) lack of attention. How often we find more important things than communication with the child, and in fact for them the interaction with us is worth its weight in gold. Sometimes it seems to us that the child behaves well, just inadequately, and he just wants to attract attention in this way. Be attentive to children, and they will not have to commit stupid acts;

2) attempt to assert itself. What can I say: for parents and 20-year-old children are still children. But in fact, the child quickly begins to understand what's what, and at the age of three years trying to claim their rights and opportunities. Such a well-known children's phrase "I myself" speaks for itself. And the expression of protest at this age speaks only of the desire to assert itself. Do not limit the freedom of the child, give him the opportunity to try his hand at various areas, so you will avoid unnecessary "confrontations" and, in addition, give impetus to the development of the child;

3) the desire to take revenge. This reason for childish disobedience is less common, but there is still room to be. We, sometimes without noticing it ourselves, offend the child accidentally - we'll open his secret or unjustly punish him. They understand this perfectly and may try to "punish" us with their behavior so that we feel the same. Maybe it's stupid, but are not we, adults, doing this in our lives?

Many, when a child does not obey his parents, begin to act according to one of the following scenarios: 1) try to "break" the child and impose his will on him; 2) seek to predict the behavior of the child and take care of him in everything; 3) let everything go by itself. Undoubtedly, all parents wish only good to their children, and sometimes they just do not know how to be.

If the child does not obey, psychologists recommend taking the following measures:

1. If you forbid something to a child, then be consistent in your actions. Today you can not allow something to be done, but tomorrow it's forbidden. Prohibitions should not depend on your mood. Parents should be in solidarity with prohibitions.
2. If you decide to punish a child, then act to the end. Do not throw words to the wind. In this case, one should not resort to punishments earlier than three years old, this will not bring the desired result.
3. If the child does not obey, imagine yourself in his place. Try to understand his feelings and desires in this or that situation, and you will be able to make the right decision.
4. If it is a disobedience to an infant who strongly desires to take a plate or touch a dog, then it should simply be distracted, to switch his attention to a more interesting subject.
5. Do not require too much from your child, you should not forbid everything and everything, in this case, the principle "Forbidden fruit is sweet" will work. Thus, you will only provoke another disobedience, because almost any act falls under the category of the forbidden.

However, if the child does not obey, think about whether it is really as bad as we think. We want to drive children into the framework of our acceptable behavior, impose their will on them, limit their activity. With such aspirations, we hinder their development, deprive them of the opportunity to "taste life on the palate," to understand why we should behave this way, and not otherwise. Therefore, before you tell your child another "no", think: "Is it worth it?".