How to live with an alcoholic?

How to live with an alcoholic? Since the invention of alcohol, millions of women have asked themselves this question, but often it remained unanswered. And is it possible to call life an inadequate person in the company who has only one need - intoxication? In psychology, there is the concept of "co-dependent" - it is a person who lives with an alcoholic, who considers him close, relate to him with love and tries to understand. A co-dependent wife can always explain to herself yet another zagul of her husband: tired, hard day, trouble at work or, conversely, a holiday, joy ...

Without suspecting, such people work not against the disease, but on it. Their sincere desire to save the near from suffering and help him to take the path of the true only aggravates the problem. Why addicted people to abandon their predilections, discomfort, change habits, if there is always someone nearby who will forgive, understand and solve all problems?

To answer the question of how to live with an alcoholic, you need to understand if you want to live with him at all. If the family has children who suffer from the behavior of the father, perhaps the best solution will be parting with such a man. In any case, each situation is individual, and only its participants make a decision - to be together or apart. If together, then there are certain steps that can help change the state of affairs.

Step 1 : give up co-dependency. You need to understand that your care and forgiveness does not help anyone. Of course, sometimes it's nice to be a victim, talking about "your cross", which you carry in life, but if this role was really yours, the question of how to live with a husband alcoholic would not arise - they would live as they are.

Step 2 : Find a source of support outside the family. You need to have some kind of foothold (friends, relatives), whose support will help to pass through the difficulties of fighting alcoholism partner. The most valuable will be the help of people who have their own successful experience of overcoming this problem. If there is such an opportunity, be like group sessions for co-addicts.

Step 3 : Set the partner conditions. If you really decided to change your life, there's nothing to wait for, it's necessary to start right now. Tell her husband that if he needs a family, he should immediately begin treatment, because you no longer intend to live with an alcoholic. If a person does not seek help or refuses alcoholism on his own, then his threat should be fulfilled - just leave.

Step 4 : think through the options. Together with her husband prepare several options for action - where you can go and who to turn to for help.

Step 5 : discard the burden of excess responsibility. You can not live for another person his life. Only he decides what to choose: family or alcohol. And nobody can influence this choice. If the man chose the second - your fault in this.

Step 6 : Understand yourself. If you fell into such a relationship, then, for some reason you needed them. Consciously or unconsciously, you derive some benefit from them for yourself. Perhaps marriage with a weak, dependent person, allows you to feel stronger, more successful, more noble. If this is true, consider how you can achieve the same feelings and raise your self-esteem. Perhaps it's worth changing jobs or learning something new?

How to deal with an alcoholic? First, understand that the fight should not be with a person, but with a disease. And the main fighter in it should be the very dependent. Stand on the side of your loved one who decided to change his own life, support this decision in him, do not let him shy away and give slack, and then the question of how to live with an alcoholic will never rise in your family again.