How to decide on a divorce, when the family can no longer be saved

The terrible word "divorce" penetrates thoughts when the last illusions about "long and happy ..." are dispelling. Yes, marriage is not just love and pigeons. As follows from the sad statistics, at the moment by the number of divorced marriages the USA and Russia are confidently leading. However, divorce is not always a bad thing. Sometimes personal happiness, for certain reasons, can not be achieved in a single marriage. In such cases it is important to know how to decide on a divorce, because putting your whole life on the sacrificial altar is not the most rational way out of a difficult situation.

It is important to remember that divorce rarely passes by mutual consent. Usually this is a rather unpleasant process, which is greatly complicated and prolonged, if there are joint children or the spouses have differences in the division of property. The prospect of going through all this frightens off many people who can no longer live in a marriage, so it's important to know how to decide on a divorce. In addition, parents, friends, work, a lot of doubts, self-deception and so on can be an obstacle to the divorce process .

In such situations, despite the fact that it can be very difficult, you should turn to common sense for help. If there is no possibility to save a marriage, then there is no need to delay with the adoption of an important decision. In general, the reasons for divorce are the same for both women and men, but such an act is accompanied by a large number of doubts among the first.

If a man thinks: "I want to get a divorce from my wife" - it usually keeps him from such an act, doubts that the new spouse will be better than the current one. He rarely thinks about the financial factor, problems with housing, etc. Moreover, in the vast majority of cases, if there are children in the marriage, they stay with the mother, which eliminates the need to think about this side of the matter.

If a woman says to herself: "I want to divorce my husband," then many more constraints are added to the doubts described above. It is caring for children, the risk is no longer to get married and much, much more.

Unfortunately, one can not give universal advice. Each individual family can, in the event of certain problems, both continue to live happily onward and stop it. Take, for example, such a common and ambiguous factor as adultery. But there are certain situations that should not be tolerated in any case. And although many do not know how to decide on a divorce, it will still be the only way to solve problems.

To such categorical reasons, which can not just be tolerated, include the following:

1) domestic violence: it can be both physical (beating) and moral (tyranny);

2) problems with dependence on alcohol or drugs;

3) complete psychological incompatibility.

In the event of such situations, you can and should try to seek help, but if there are no results, then endure it for the sake of children (the most common reason for preserving such marriages) or for the sake of what else is absolutely inadvisable. It is very important to find strength in ourselves and make an important life-affirming step, because we have to decide on divorce - sometimes the only way to preserve self-esteem and raise full-fledged children who will not witness false relations built on humiliation and lack of mutual understanding.