4 reasons why you should remove the word "forgive" from your lexicon

When you enter the office of your boss, you are usually greeted by ferocious ones, seeing only the monitor, eyes and the tapping of fingers on the computer keys. You immediately hurry to apologize to the chief for your anxiety.

You enter the crowded subway train at mid-rush hour, and it carries you along the rails, surrounded by disappointed and exhausted people. Often you throw your bag on the floor and grab the top rail to stabilize your position. A long journey starts home, and your hand squeezes the hand of another passenger. Again, we have to apologize.

We apologize at least 15 times a day, regardless of whether there are reasons for this or not. The feeling of awkwardness towards other people often does not give us peace. Our apologies turned into a chronic disease, but why do we all do it?

One general theory that quite accurately explains our excessive use of the word "sorry" is that we believe that we should make ourselves less intrusive to others and think many times before we start talking. Our apologies also show humility or a desire to avoid a conflict situation.

Here are some reasons why we need to rethink when and why we ask for forgiveness, and also why we might need to exclude the word "excuse" from my vocabulary.

1. This depreciates the apology

When we apologize with ease and often or when it becomes embarrassing for things that are clearly not our fault, are not under our control or are not at all worthy of an apology, we completely distort the meaning of words and reduce the power of their sincerity.

The bottom line is that too often apologies can devalue the very act of politeness. And when something important happens, your words will not have the proper force to influence this person. Be careful and keep your tact for a more appropriate occasion.

2. You despise yourself, all too often expressing regret

Most people associate apologies with humility. We tend to think that a proud person can insult someone and leave without an apology. However, an interesting thing arises when we apologize for situations that do not justify this action. In these moments, we show the people around us that they are worth more than we are. This means that our personal self-esteem is too understated.

There is nothing wrong with being confident in a person who is not responsible for someone else's mistakes. You are a living person who deserves to be perceived as equal to those with whom you come across. Do not belittle yourself in society. The next time someone collides with you, drop an apology and instead share an understanding glance.

3. You try to correct the situation, but do not resolve the conflict

This is especially true for those of us who do not like confrontation and will make any concessions to avoid a tense situation. We will quickly drop "sorry" to suppress the conflict before it develops. This is necessary from time to time, but in some situations we still need to make an effort to work through the conflict through dialogue.

The expression of regret can also be a way of manipulating the situation. We will use it to avoid referring to a particular sore topic or colliding with the undesirable behavior of another person. How many times have we heard or even said: "I said that I regret what else is required of me?". It is a classic way to use a weak and usually sincere apology to resolve a tense situation that has arisen.

4. Constant apologies make you a miserable person

A person who always apologizes, especially in the workplace, will soon be referred to the category of miserable people. This behavior creates an impression among people around you that you are prone to errors, incompetent and feel constant awkwardness.

Apologies may actually affect your personal self-esteem and self-esteem. The more your word "excuse" is included in your lexicon, or you will feel regret about something, the more you will believe it yourself and eventually become a miserable and notorious person.

To work out the right behavior, try not to regret anything during the whole day. This does not mean that you should avoid making an apology if you are really wrong. Take responsibility and apologize, not using the word "sorry".

Here are a few words and phrases that can help you with this:

• "I'm sorry / forgive me."
• "Thank you".
• "I regret...".
• "Unfortunately...".
• "It's sad."