Self improvementStress Management

Why do people tend to complain about their problems?

Many effective methods for managing stress quite often advise us to focus on the benefits of a positive outlook. Positive thinking brings great benefits to our body, and it is still necessary to note that a cheerful attitude to life can be "contagious." Constant concentration on negativity and problems can eclipse many joyful moments in your life, you simply will not notice them, nor will you perceive human gratitude.

Complaints to life - this is for many as a kind of entertainment that can be observed in the behavior of most people.

There are some advantages in this, for example, so we relieve stress. Expressing at least occasional disappointments and discontent, we really get rid of tension. Here are some reasons why people tend to complain so often.

Sometimes we need to "let off steam"

A person can be compared to a bottle of sparkling water, which is constantly shaken. We are also under pressure, we can sometimes feel the urge to "explode" from claims. Complaints are one way to relieve the internal tension that we sometimes experience in a difficult situation for us. Sometimes, after talking out, we just "let off steam."

Support from

Often, when we are upset or feel somewhat offended, the manifestation of any emotional support from another person is a balm for our offended ego. If someone says in response that he understands your feelings and experiences, that he would also be upset in the circumstances, then in this situation you will perceive these words as the most tender and warm embrace. Having received support, a person feels more confident, he is ready to deal with problems and is no longer afraid of them. It's like guilty children, which my mother forgave and eventually kissed.

Finding the right solutions

Try to solve the problem not alone, because the team is a combination of the strengths of several people at the same time. If you complain to others about what's bothering you, it may help to find some solutions that you did not even know about.

People often complain, but at the same time they just ask for help, although few people notice and understand it.

Always need another point of view

When we "brew" too long in a situation for too long, we worry about something more than one day, then we often exaggerate the existing problem, we see it already distorted, not in the light in which it really is. The mistake is that we always try to take into account only our own point of view.

Sometimes you need to tell a close friend, find out from him, do not miss something, maybe there is some point that you do not take into account. He can look at your problem differently. If we are open to the perception of another point of view, it will be useful to "move away" for a while from your opinion and see what other people think about our problems. Sometimes it helps to get rid of anger and frustration, can open us new solutions and opportunities to overcome stress.

Maybe you need motivation

Sometimes we know that we need to make some changes, but we are simply not ready to take a chance and put a little extra effort on. You need motivation. Focus your attention on what makes you difficult to build motivation and make certain changes.

Complaining, we achieve our goal

When the wheel squeaks, it is smeared so that there are no unnecessary sounds. So man - complains to get something and not "publish a squeak". If you complain to someone who has the opportunity to make changes in resolving the situation, but at the same time using a diplomatic approach, your complaints can be much more closely perceived. This is more effective than silence. Such an approach, as a polite complaint, can give a definite result!

However, a complaint can also seriously harm you. When such statements become a habit or several people regularly and persistently express their disappointments, they become a group of permanent whiners, and this starts to bore.

Here are some shortcomings of complaints:

  • You focus on the problem, not the potential solution. Although a complaint can be a tool for creating motivation, it really focuses on the problem, not on potential solutions. If you spend too much time complaining to others, you feel "attached" to the problem, stop looking for a solution.

  • Pessimistic forecast. Studies show that there are many advantages for an optimistic forecast, and pitfalls for a pessimistic one. We get used to a certain thought, and then we start automatically accepting this perspective. Constant attention, focusing on the negative usually leads to a pessimistic perspective. Thoughts, as we know, are material.
  • Constant anger. When you focus on things people chronically complain about, you risk getting angry. This anger can become a habit, and you will often be angry. It can also lead to health problems, and for you this is not a way out of the situation.

  • Negative groups. Complaints are a "contagious" affair. What will happen if a group of people who offer support to each other begin to resemble an angry mob? If you find that you and your friends often complain about the same things, but do not feel better, it's time to look for new topics for discussion.
  • Putting your problems on someone else. If you do not have a support group, then in some ways it can be harmful. Those who often complain, others are perceived as energy vampires. Be careful that your claims do not become so heavy as to overwhelm the listener, to force him to help you.

The problems we complain about often require solutions. Obviously, when we complain, then in some way we relieve tension. But excessive complaints about problems, large or not so important, simply are not an effective solution. Less complain - and you will have much more chances to look at the world with optimism and gratitude.

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