What is the crisis of marriage? 7 years - a dangerous period of marriage: characteristics and characteristics

Many are not serious about such a problem as the crisis of marriage. 7 years, nevertheless, is a term that is a turning point when the family literally starts to pop at the seams. It is for this period that the greatest number of divorces occur. But do not think that this is a verdict and the end of everything. Of any crisis there is a way out.

The essence of the crisis

Even the happiest couple is not immune from a problem such as a marriage crisis. 7 years is an approximate period when the spouses begin to feel some discomfort. On the one hand, behind the back is a lot of experience, established life and established relationships, and on the other - the lack of development and the nebula of further prospects.

It is necessary to understand that it is not just a crisis of marriage. 7 years is a long enough period for which some grievances may accumulate, misunderstandings arise or an elementary habit can be formed. Thus, people go to crisis situations long enough and systematically, and at some point everything breaks out.

Pay attention to the life of your family and the established relationship. Do you have any traditions or common goals? If yes, most likely, you pass this unpleasant situation. But if the family is only a joint living, you sooner or later start to think that the best times are already lived. And here it is very important to understand the value of your relationship and lived years.

The main causes of the crisis

There is a crisis on a level ground. 7 years of marriage is a sufficient period for the accumulation of certain problems. So, the most common causes of the family crisis can be considered the following:

• Boredom and monotony due to the structure of life. You no longer need to worry about finding a common place to live, to get used to each other's habits. At some point you begin to live in accordance with a certain rhythm that excludes the appearance in the relationship of something new.
• Separated interests and a gradual distance from each other. Spouses are no longer interested in spending time together. Weekends and holidays are increasingly held separately, because the former lover was simply bored with each other's company.
• Problems of an intimate nature. After 7 years of marriage, it is difficult for partners to surprise each other with something. Sometimes it makes the spouses look for more vivid impressions on the side.
• Disagreements in matters of vital views and goals. For 7 years, people learn about each other things that were not available at the beginning of dating. As a result, personal dislike can arise between spouses.
• Lack of romance and sensuality in the relationship. People cease to treat each other with trembling and no longer try to do something pleasant.

Crisis of 7 years of marriage: symptoms

In order to get out of the family crisis, it needs to be recognized in time. So, it is worth to sound an alarm if you feel such symptoms:

• The desire for intimacy is lost, contacts become extremely rare and do not bring pleasure;
• You no longer try to please each other;
• Any problem turns into mutual reproaches and loud quarrels;
• The opinion on most issues becomes the opposite;
• The spouses no longer sympathize with each other's problems;
• There is mutual irritation;
• One of the spouses feels restrained, deprived and offended;
• You no longer want to share your joys or troubles with the other half.

How to hear each other?

You need to learn to understand and hear each other if you are not circumvented by the crisis of marriage. 7 years is a decent period for which there must be enough arguments to support the preservation of the family. To learn to hear and understand each other, it is important to take into account such moments:

• Learn to talk to each other. For 7 years of marriage, the spouses must establish a sufficiently confidential relationship in order to frankly tell each other about their problems. Just having a chat, you can split the ice and become on the path of reconciliation.
• Appreciate what unites you. This is not just a long-term joint life. Remember those moments when you were not married. What attracted you to each other? How did you build your family life? All this should indicate the value of the relationship.
• Treat the crisis not as a tragedy, but as an opportunity to review existing problems and get rid of them, rather than ignore it further.
• Show respect and tenderness to each other. Perhaps the absence of just these feelings led your family to a crisis. Speaking words of love and giving warmth, it is much easier to solve problems.

Solution

In fact, it is not so difficult to overcome the crisis of 7 years of marriage. His characteristic allows us to conclude that this is a problem of habit, the measure of life and misunderstanding. In this regard, we can take such measures to overcome the crisis:

• Eliminate boredom from your life. When planning a family budget, be sure to include the point of "entertainment" in it. At least once a week you go to the movies, to the club, to the cafe or just to the nature.
• Try to solve intimate problems. If you have not done this before, read a couple of books on this issue. You will certainly find in them valuable advice that will force a partner to fall in love with you anew.
• Learn to make concessions (at least in minor moments), for example, choosing the color of wallpaper or tiles for the bathroom. In fact, these are trifles. But, showing respect for the opinion of the second half, you can again achieve its location.
• Try to return to the candy-bouquet period, when you moved romance. Send each other lovely messages, write scraps with hearts, give nice gifts, arrange candlelight dinners, watch love movies. The main thing is to do it sincerely, with a soul.
• Remember why you chose this person to create a family. It is advisable that the spouses put it all in writing, and then read to each other. This will bring you back to those happy times when everything was just beginning, and will allow you to fall in love again.

What should a woman do?

If you have lived 7 years in marriage, the crisis of relations should not frighten you, because a lot has already been passed, and this is just another stage. The woman, as the keeper of the hearth, must first feel wrong and try to eliminate the troubles. Pay attention to your appearance. Do you look so charming, like 7 years ago? If not, you need to work in this direction. Sign in the gym, visit the beauty salon, change the image. In the end, stop walking at home in a dressing gown and curlers. Make your man fall in love with you again, awake in him the former passion. If your appearance is all right, try to work on your personality. Perhaps you should find some hobby in which you can realize yourself.

What should a man do?

How to survive the crisis 7 years of marriage? Many men prefer to seek solace on the side or even create new families. In the meantime, there is every chance to save the marriage, which was built for many years. Take care of your appearance. Not only a woman should look with a needle. A man should also look after himself and his wardrobe. But most importantly - stop treating your spouse as a servant. A wife is not a cook, not a washerwoman or a maid. This is primarily a friend who goes with you in life. Let the woman feel loved, guard her, make pleasant surprises. Then no crisis you are not afraid.

Conclusion

Many couples face such a problem as the crisis of 7 years of marriage. Its characteristics, features are thoroughly studied by family psychologists, and therefore to turn to a specialist is the most correct decision. He surely will tell you that the basis of a happy marriage is mutual respect. Spouses are not the property of each other. These are people who have made a voluntary decision to go together in life together. And this road should be happy. To make it so, always come back on the day of your acquaintance. Try to become like a few years ago, in order to restore the relationship to the former passion and novelty.