Surrogate mother: what are the requirements for her, what are the rules for drafting the contract

Year after year passes in fruitless attempts to become pregnant, but doctors give a disappointing prognosis. When emotions find their way out, a balanced decision comes: it is necessary to find a "live incubator", which will become a surrogate mother. From this moment, a lot of questions arise. How to choose a woman who can bear and give birth to a healthy crumb, how much does it cost, how to legally formalize documents and regulate the life of a future mother, while she will be carrying your baby? And this issue has two sides. On the one hand, the personal life of the person hired by you to provide the service, on the other - your concern for the health of the future child, which directly depends on what is, drinks and even sees and feels (experiences) the surrogate mother. Let's try together to understand all these issues.

What is surrogate motherhood?

This is an assisted reproductive technology, in which three people participate in the birth of a child. This is the father who gives his sperm and consent to educate the future baby. It is a genetic mother who provides her egg and consent to take on maternal duties after his birth. Provides the same intrauterine development and the birth of a child third person - a surrogate mother. This is an adult woman of childbearing age who undertakes to endure a child for his genetic parents and does not pretend to him after childbirth. For this, she receives material compensation.

How does this issue deal with legislation?

To date, this reproductive technology is not banned in the post-Soviet space. That is, both potential parents and a surrogate mother can apply to a special clinic or legal agency, formalize an official agreement that will regulate their relationship from the moment of signing to the birth of the baby. The agreement on the transfer of the newborn to his genetic parents and full material reimbursement to the woman for all the inconveniences associated with pregnancy and childbirth is coming to an end.

A replacement mom or just a job?

It is believed that the woman who carried the child under the heart, it will be very difficult to part with him, because between them there is a close psychological connection. However, it is necessary to think about this, when you just thought about how to become a surrogate mother. Surmama has nothing to do with the baby genetically. Pregnancy begins with the IVF procedure, after which it does not differ from usual for the whole nine months. The only difference is that a woman is carrying a stranger's child. She does not need to worry about further education of the baby, her function ends on the day of childbirth. After receiving a material reward, she can return to normal life.

How to find a surrogate mother

This is the most difficult thing that a family will have to face, which for various reasons can not have children. Imagine yourself: a woman should be healthy, not have addictive habits and sexually transmitted diseases. It is very important that it is psychologically stable, pregnancy and so leads to a hormonal surge and frequent changes of mood, and a nervous and nervous mom to your baby does not need anything. Where will her pregnancy take place, what will she eat, how will her sexual and personal life, hygiene and regular visits to doctors be regulated? All these are complex issues that should receive a detailed response in the process of drafting the treaty.

Many women have little idea of how to become a surrogate mother, and they make this decision only because of material problems. In this case, a consultation with a psychologist is required, which will help you understand yourself today and honestly answer the question, are you ready for this step.

Where to look for a mother for a baby's future

The first thing parents start to study is the Internet. Since such services are not prohibited by law, on various sites and forums you can find a large number of ads, like "I want to become a surrogate mother." Usually in such an announcement indicate the age, the presence of children, the absence of bad habits and external data. The latter has practically no value, except when the egg of the spouse who wishes to have a child can not be taken for physiological reasons. Then, with the consent of the surrogate, her egg is impregnated with the sperm of the male customer, and she nurtures her child genetically, undertaking to transfer it after the birth of the couple to the customers.

However, in the experience of many pairs, it can be said that the search for candidates through ads takes a lot of effort and nerves, therefore, by making several calls, future parents often turn to a specialized agency. Its employees undertake to provide you with a database of women, and here you will see not a trivial ad "I want to become a surrogate mother", but detailed questionnaires with photos, a full medical examination of candidates and the conclusion of specialists, data on the marital status and the availability of own children. In addition, these women have already had conversations, and they are fully aware of what services they are going to provide.

We choose mum to the kid

First of all, it should be nice to you. You will have to closely communicate for a long 9 months, perhaps even live under one roof. And if you feel embarrassed in her company, it is better to look for another candidate. We are all different, wait for a woman with whom you will easily find a common language. Where to find a surrogate mother, we have already talked, now we must choose from a number of applicants one that will give life to your baby. Discuss with her all the details of the future contract. If there are nuances in which you can not find a compromise (accommodation of the future mother, diet, exercise), then it is worth talking to someone else. What should include an official document that is drawn up between the parents and the "hired mom"?

We calculate the cost

Probably one of the most important questions for parents is how much the surrogate mother's services cost. Usually the agency can provide questionnaires to women with a variety of requests - ranging from 5 to 25 thousand dollars. It depends on age. Usually, younger girls, female students in need of money, or women over forty years of age are appointed the lowest price. The price affects the status of women, as well as its orientation to the category of customers. But the average amount is 15 000 dollars. Add to this the payment for the services of the agency, as well as the clinic, in which IVF will take place and the subsequent management of pregnancy, the cost of feeding the pregnant woman, the necessary medical care and childbirth.

Official document

The contract with the surrogate mother must be drawn up under any conditions, even if your close relative provides these services . This is a guarantee of fulfillment of obligations by both parties. At the same time, a contract of one pair with a surrogate may be very different from the other, it is important to take into account the interests of specific people, to regulate their relations. In general, this document contains:

• Detailed data on people who want to have a child.
• Detailed information about a woman who is ready to provide services to a surrogate mother.
• Rights, duties and responsibilities of the parties.
• Terms and measures in relation to surrogacy in case she refuses to transfer the child to customers, and also if they refuse to accept it. This includes all possible variants of the birth of a disabled child.
• Other conditions that are achieved by agreement of the parties.

What requirements can genetic parents present to a future mother?

The full list should be compiled, discussed with a woman who will act as a surrogate, and notarized. There are examples when a pregnant woman was literally kept in confinement, letting go for a walk under supervision and forbidding to see relatives and friends. Such conditions negatively affect the psychological state of the woman, and hence the future child. The requirements for a surrogate mother are already quite severe: they are from 25 to 35 years old, the presence of at least one child born naturally, the absence of severe and chronic diseases, bad habits, mental disorders and drug dependence. In addition, if a woman is married, the husband's written consent will be required.

If a woman resides with her husband during pregnancy, then both of them must undergo a regular medical examination. Surimam undertakes to limit contacts with relatives, especially potential carriers of various diseases (ARI, ARVI and others). An athlete or stay-at-home, the expectant mother will have to adjust the level of physical activities to the recommendations of the doctor who leads the pregnancy. For her nutrition, genetic parents will also follow very closely, while being more demanding than an ordinary pregnant woman herself.

If the replacement mom works

The age of the surrogate mother rarely exceeds 35 years, the older candidates are difficult to find wanting to acquire offspring. This is due to the physiological characteristics of the female body: the older the mother, the more difficult pregnancy can take. Although to date, this threshold is clearly understated, many women engaged in careers, begin to think about the family is just closer to forty years. But anyway, the replacement mother often works, so you need to consider this fact when drafting the contract. Parents should be sure that she will have enough time to visit the doctor and the necessary examinations. Another important fact is the working conditions. They should not be harmful or heavy, carry a potential risk to the future of the baby. Otherwise, the future mother will have to resign. This requirement is often made by parents, because they are already "employers" who will pay all the costs of maintaining a woman during pregnancy and give compensation in the form of a lump sum.

Obligations and rights of surrogate mother

If you decide to provide such services, then preparation will take a lot of time. To begin with, you need to find a reliable agency and place your profile there. Even before the conclusion of the contract, you will need to undergo a full medical, psychological and psychiatric examination. All results, including medical genetic examination, a woman should provide future parents. They also bear all the costs of the examination, unless the agency provides otherwise, that is, a preliminary survey at their own expense.

Consent of a surrogate mother at the conclusion of a contract or contract means that she:

• Ready to start medical records at an early pregnancy, up to 12 weeks.
• Observe with the doctor and follow all his requirements and recommendations.
• Monitor your health and regularly report any changes in your health.
• Inform the persons who have concluded a contract with her about the course of pregnancy.

The range of responsibilities is not very wide, but this is only a generally accepted plan. Parents can include a point about the future mother's living with them throughout pregnancy so that they can personally control her nutrition, well-being and even social contacts.

End of pregnancy

The birth of a baby is a long-awaited event, which also means the end of the contract. Now surrogacy is obliged to transfer the child to genetic parents, after which she can fully receive compensation for pregnancy. The duties of the parents also include the improvement of the woman within 56 days after childbirth. But what if the mother's feelings are awake and the woman refuses to give the newborn? This case should be prescribed in the contract with clearly stipulated consequences. Legislation of different countries regulates this issue in its own way. In the Russian there are points according to which the woman who gave birth to the child has the right to leave it to himself.

If the parents refuse to take the child

Such cases are most often at the birth of a baby with a pathology, for example, if it occurred at the time of birth - trauma, injury. Or if there is a defect in the child, which did not manifest itself in utero development. This item should also be in the contract and provide for the responsibility of the parties. In this case, the parents are not entitled to demand from the surrogate the return of all the funds spent for the examination and maintenance of pregnancy, as well as the amount of remuneration. Compensation they must pay in full, which provides for the contract. In case of parents' refusal from the child, the right to leave him or transfer him to the guardianship of the state remains with the surrogate mother. In the case of a committed transfer of a child to a genetic parent, a woman forfeits the rights to him forever. The consent of the surrogate mother to this must be obtained at the time of drawing up the contract.

Birth certificate

On the footsteps of the current legislation, children born to surrogate mothers are immediately recorded on the surname of their genetic parents. Since the signing of the contract, they are they. At the same time, there is a subtle point: immediately after birth, a woman must give written consent that her mother will be registered as a customer. After that, she no longer has rights to the baby, the newborn is not shown to her, so as not to awaken the instincts. There are times when the family takes a former surrogate for the work of a nanny. According to psychologists, parting with her at a time when the need for babysitting services will disappear, will be a difficult test for the whole family.

This is another difficult point, purely psychological. What is surrogate mother going through? The responses of women who provided such services indicate a strong desire to leave the child to themselves, postpartum depression because of the lack of opportunity to look after their "own" baby. Add to this social condemnation, lack of support by relatives. And you will understand that surrogacy is a difficult choice. That is why it is very important to choose a woman not only physically healthy, but also psychologically stable, without a tendency to hysterical seizures and severe depression. It is possible to include in the contract an obligatory visit to the psychologist before making a decision (conclusion of the contract) and the passage of psychotherapy after childbirth so that this trauma is worked out and does not affect the further life of the woman.

Today, the number of children born through surrogate motherhood is growing. This is often the last and only option to find the joy of motherhood for a childless couple. For others, this is a way to earn money, pay for their studies, improve their living conditions. With a well-written contract, surrogate motherhood does not have risks for both parties, but for this you need to turn to professionals, and not try to make a contract yourself. Substituting motherhood is a chance for many married couples to find the joy of being parents, and not of an adopted child, but of one's own child. Children from surrogate mothers are blood relatives of their parents, they are simply carried by another woman.