Obsessive desire to control everything: how to get rid of it?

You are one of those people who keep their hands on the pulse of events. You are accustomed to take responsibility for your actions and in any situation seek to maintain control. But what gives you this habit? Is it so important to prove to the people around you your main role?

33 cases

If you combine the role of a successful business lady and mother, thoughts in your head spin in a stormy whirlpool. You need to check that the nanny takes the youngest son from the kindergarten, calls her husband and reminds him to buy food for dinner, and to remind the oldest daughter that she has an appointment with the dentist. In addition to everything on your shoulders is entrusted the organization of the birthday of the niece. But who except you so cleverly holds in the hands of the control thread? Even in the office, you can not calm down, always urging colleagues with a report. All papers should be on the table by tomorrow, and the project is delivered by next Friday.

Why do people want to control everything?

You can justify your behavior by craving for perfectionism. Unfortunately, you yourself do not realize how close your people, acquaintances and co-workers are to tired of endless quibbles.

However, your desire for excellence (which is so incomprehensible to others) is based on fear of failing publicly. Public opinion is important for you. That's why you can not afford to yourself and people who interact with you, the right to make a mistake. Fear and anxiety are the main driving forces of your mania. Probably, as a child, you experienced the most severe stress caused by a terrible fire or other incident that occurred due to carelessness of people. And now you have firmly decided that control will become your second skin. It is likely that you had too powerful parents who inspired you with their own behavioral model.

This obsession is very tiring

It seems that your morbid desire to control everything employees still somehow endure, but that's the people literally choke without having the opportunity to take a step without your knowledge. Really, the mania of total control has not exhausted you yet? If so, we will tell you how to get rid of the obsessive desire to hold control threads in your hands.

How to get rid of mania?

At the heart of relieving therapy should be self-esteem. Spend a certain amount of time and do self-analysis.

Set priorities that will be directed to a sense of personal well-being. You can not try to change your essence without a clear idea of the limits of self-esteem. From now on, you and only you will be your chief judge. Do not let other people compromise your self-esteem.

Learn the examples of outstanding leaders

Did you know that the main distinguishing feature of a successful manager is inspiration, not control? Study useful tips in books and magazines, focus on the behavior of leaders in famous movies. In these and other sources you will discover a lot of useful information.

Do not be afraid to experiment

It is time to radically change your thinking. For this, new hobbies and activities are the best. Take guitar lessons - the skills of playing music perfectly train the brain. Sign in the mountaineering section - climbing a cliff face alongside partners will teach you to trust other people. Do yoga or meditation - these wonderful activities synchronize the soul, mind and body. New hobbies will provide a stream of new thoughts, which means that your thinking patterns will change too.

Often look inside yourself

When a person holds control threads in his hands, he often does not realize the motives of his behavior. He lives so out of habit, not really peering into the deep processes of his own consciousness. If you caught yourself off guard and realize that you have an irresistible desire to start controlling the situation again, stop and look inside yourself. Now find the motives for your aspiration. Perhaps, over you is the fear of failure, the unwillingness to hear the condemnation of others or the lack of trust in others. Among these and other factors, one can distinguish one that makes you particularly vulnerable. It's about fear of failure. But the more often you look into your own consciousness, the stronger will be your connection with the world around you.

Learn to trust other people

As we said earlier, you are not used to trusting others. Assuming the reins of government, you let other people know that no one except you can cope better with this situation. This stereotype is also associated with a sense of danger. To curb it, you need to learn to adequately assess your fear.

Do not forget about the rest

Sometimes it is useful to be an outside observer. Provide the opportunity for urgent business to go its course. Do not worry, you will not do it regularly, just take a short timeout. Refuse the habit of grabbing all the cases. Even the many-armed god Shiva would not have cope with the burden of the perfectionist. Allow things to be imperfect. In the end, the shortcomings have their own charm.

Think about other people's feelings

For all this time, it never occurred to you to think about how people feel that are forced to listen regularly to someone's advice?

Now it's time to look at yourself from the side. The desire for total control overshadows the lives of individuals from your environment. No adult will reconcile with such a fate, when another person always chastises him, as if he were a guilty child. Imagine that you are regularly given orders. Will you feel happy or hate your position? Change the guidelines toward care, not causing other people moral damage.