Mother-in-law and son-in-law. Relationship in the family

Most relatives get to us by birth, some we can choose independently, for example, koumovs or spouses. But there is a separate category of kinship - mother-in-law and son-in-law. Relationships here, let's say frankly, are a delicate thing, they require delicacy from all the participants.

Classic Triangle

Strange it turns out: adults who seem to know how to build relationships, not Can overcome hostility to each other, and only on the grounds that they are a mother-in-law and a son-in-law. There seems to be no reason to spoil relations, and it's difficult to get out of the cold war. Most of all, the third party suffers - the wife, she is also the daughter. After all, a woman must constantly maneuver in order not to become a hostage to one and not to offend another party to the conflict.

Favorite Russian questions

Who is to blame and what to do? Mother-in-law and son-in-law ... Relationships with this "couple" are often very complex. Uneasy are roles, but they can be played beautifully and with dignity. The difference in age, outlook, and gender, finally create a gap between two people misunderstanding, but if you want to bridge through it can be laid at any time. And it is better to build it from two sides.

What to do mother-in-law

1. Take your son-in-law as he is, because the guy is the choice of your daughter. Look closely, why she fell in love with him. Agree, a person can not consist of only one flaw. Yes, he earns little, but he is a faithful husband and a good father. Disappears in the service and gives little time to the family? Probably, like any normal man, seeks to create them a proper level of comfort. Year the tap is running and the bell does not work? But he cooks himself and wipes the dishes.

2. Throw away the imaginary images of princes, who (with stretch, of course) are worthy of your daughter: in life, not all are representatives of the "blue" blood.

3. Stop comparing it to the son of a neighbor, your husband or neighbor in the country. Still it is not known, the neighbor would like you so much, it appears he on a place of the son-in-law.

4. Let the young build their relationship. Do not meddle with advice (at least if you are not asked about it), even if you really want to put everything in its place.

5. Have a personal life, find an occupation to your liking. Get your girlfriends or invite those that are available to visit. Bake, go hiking, breed Ussuri tigers, do what you like - and then spend time on disassembly with the son-in-law will be simply a pity.

Memo for the son-in-law

1. Mother-in-law raised your spouse the way you could love her. Already for this it is worth to be grateful to her.

2. The unfavorable relationship between mother-in-law and son-in-law is a difficult test for your wife. Do not expose your loved one to constant stress.

3. A mother-in-law is also a man, moreover, a woman. Congratulations on the holiday, a bouquet of flowers, a repaired chair contribute to the normalization of human relations.

4. If the mother-in-law is actively involved in the structure of your life - look at it differently. Your wife will have more time to care for or care for the child. In the end, on myself - my beloved! In the event that you do not tolerate interference in your personal space - take your mother-in-law with something else. Give her a dacha, a dog, a bag of yarn and a hook is what she likes, and she will definitely fall behind you.

5. Do not get involved in the relationship of his wife and mother. Even if they quarreled to the nines, neutrality would be a better position. Remember that they are the mother and the daughter, and you are the mother-in-law and the son-in-law, the relations of the last couple are much more fragile.

What the daughter and wife should do

1. Do not have the habit of crying to my mother for a husband, and my husband - for my mother.

2. Emphasize the dignity of the "opponent" before them, do it unobtrusively, but regularly.

3. Learn in decisive situations to put an end to disputes, expressing your opinion tactfully, but weighty.

4. The relationship between mother-in-law and son-in-law does not imply that they should love each other passionately, so do not ask for it from them.

5. Do not provoke conflicts if you know that your husband and mother can stay together for no more than 30 minutes. It is not necessary to plan a joint holiday, weekly dinners on Saturdays or shopping trips.

Any relationship is formed gradually. Remember this and do not try to run ahead of the engine. Perhaps a few years later mother-in-law and son-in-law will be able to call each other relatives at the behest of their hearts and without any irony.