Self improvementPsychology

How to temper the character: a guide to action, recommendations and examples

The word "character" is of Greek origin. Once it meant a stamp for an imprint of a portrait of a ruler on coins. His original meaning was associated with leadership qualities, which undoubtedly possessed the monarch: honesty, steadfastness, courage, dedication and loyalty to duty.

Today, this term refers to the totality of a person's personality traits. According to psychologists, they largely depend on temperament and abilities.

The character is laid in childhood, and the whole life is formed ... Does this mean that we are able to influence it without trying to justify our own weaknesses and passions with natural instincts? But what about education? Can parents influence the nature of the child? These and other related questions will be answered by our article. From it you will learn how to temper the character, forming those qualities through which you can not only get rid of fears, shortcomings and weaknesses, but also change your destiny for the better.

Who is called weak-willed?

This issue requires priority consideration. A person with a weak character easily succumbs to temptations, they are guided by impulses and resentments, and multiple fears can bring him to depression and emotional instability.

It is not easy for a weak character to defend his opinion, it is easy for him to manage. Such a person is unlikely to become a leader, but even if he is lucky in this, his own subordinates will poke the unfortunate as they please.

If you notice in yourself or a growing child these cowardly features, despair is not necessary. Believe me, working on yourself and correcting your upbringing always bear fruit. You still have a chance to temper strong character.

What is the strength of character?

There are several basic qualities that allow a person to control instincts and passions, resist temptations and temptations.

We will examine them in detail, and the analysis will help to find answers to the question of how to temper the character. You will get the desired result if you work on developing each of these qualities.

Counteract gusts and passions

Aristotle wrote about the seven main forces that settle inside a man. He attributed the following to them:

  • love;
  • hatred;
  • irresistible desire;
  • Fears;
  • Unrestrained joy;
  • anger;
  • Discouragement.

Of course, we experience these emotions many times a day, but we should not allow them to control our actions and influence decision-making. Otherwise, they simply enslave the will, crush, take possession of all thoughts. A person who has a tempered character, does not go on the occasion of passions, this is the lot of the weak.

Do not let anything affect you except common sense. Of course, every living person is prone to gusts, especially in a difficult situation. But one thing is to show emotions (this is just a strong person and not afraid), and quite another - to surrender to their power.

How to resist irrational impulses? Train in yourself the ability to soberly look at any situation. Before making a decision honestly ask yourself and honestly answer, what exactly makes you make a choice: objective causes or impulses of a troubled heart?

Set realistic goals

Sometimes life itself tempers the character. In a complex situation, the qualities of a person are often manifested, of which he himself did not know. However, this does not mean that you should try to throw yourself on the embrasure alone to impress your loved one, friend or foe. The artificial creation of a complex situation, which later will have to be overcome heroically, often looks more like posturing, rather than tempering the character.

Do not try to get into trouble, even if you are sure that you will be the winner. In life there are enough difficulties. Look around - and surely see someone who needs a strong shoulder.

Try to get to the point

The owner of tempered character always seeks the truth, the root cause and essence. Especially if the situation concerns several people. You probably heard the saying that everyone has their own truth, and only the truth is unique. Listen to the version of each side. Do not be tempted, without understanding, to side with the one who is dear to you and is sweet. Yes, sometimes it is not easy, but it's not for nothing that they say that difficulties temper the character. This is the only way to stay on the side of good. Defending the wrong, you will do him a disservice.

The solution of any question can be found, avoiding immersion in chaos of sensations, prejudices, guesses, rumors, sympathies and antipathies.

Give up fatalism

Tell me, how to temper the character, being confident that everything that happens in advance is predetermined? And why even work on yourself, if you can write anything off on the machinations of fate?

A person with a strong character does not classify himself as either a pessimist or an optimist. He does not complain about the circumstances, but he does not act idly in the belief that everything will work out in the best way.

Belief in the good is needed, but it is impossible for her to sacrifice the sense of responsibility for everything that happens. Realize that everything in your life depends only on you: circumstances are formed exactly as a result of your actions (or, conversely, inaction).

Appreciate what you have

Often we hear: "It's good where we do not exist!" Can a strong, strong-willed person say so? How can you even know what is happening somewhere far away? Suddenly there people have the same thoughts?

If you decide to embark on the path of self-improvement and want to learn how to temper the character, learn to never envy anyone. Do you remember who is responsible for all the events in your life? All in your hands! Concentrate on what needs to be done to achieve success, not on the longing for inaccessible benefits.

Be resolute

One of the main signs of a weak, weak-willed personality is the inability to say no. If you have difficulties in order to abandon a business that is not of interest to you, restrict yourself from communicating with unpleasant people, this also needs to be fought. Do not let anyone pull you into something against which your nature protests.

Psychologists believe that this moment can only seem insignificant. In fact, it's not so easy to learn to refuse. Let it not upset you that not everything will turn out right away.

Yes, the ability to speak is also important. Embark on a journey that you have long dreamed of. Finally, ask for an increase and a surcharge. Decide on a serious conversation with a loved one.

Complicated? Extremely. But you can start with the simplest - learn to be honest with yourself. Remember: without risking, you can not enjoy the joy of victory!

Be interested in the opinions of others, but do not follow them

The one who claims not to be interested in someone's opinion, in many ways disingenuous. In the modern world, it is simply impossible to live apart from society. But a person with a strong character should be able to separate the grain from the chaff.

When making decisions, you must imagine what consequences each step will have. Do not someone hurt your words? Do not affect the fate of someone else's actions?

When evaluating this, try to be objective. Refusing to fulfill the dream only because someone from outsiders might not like it, is silly. Other people's prejudices should not interfere with the goal. Of course, if you are sure that you are doing the right thing.

Respect respect: do not impose your will on others.

Learn to do good

Surely every parent thinks about how to temper the nature of a child. In this case there is no better method than a personal example. Hundreds of your precepts and the most moving sermons will be wasted if, with a daughter or son, you will humiliate the weak and show indifference to the destitute.

It may seem that kindness has nothing to do with the power of character. But just imagine, with what eyes the children look at us, when we help and save!

The child, who was brought up by the parent-defender, the parent-helper, will be sure that the good is the manifestation of a real strength of character.

Know how to empathize

It is important not only how to temper the character, but also how to maintain a good heart. The ability to rejoice in other people's victories, without irony to share someone's fears, to support in moments of burden - these are signs of a truly strong personality. Embrace in yourself envy and malevolence, get rid of these base passions peculiar only to weaklings!

Work on your fears

No wonder they say that nothing to be afraid of - this is madness, not courage, but to be afraid, but to do is a real, true courage. Completely get rid of fears is impossible, because they are provided by nature itself. Fears - this is a kind of protective mechanism, which is designed to drive a person away from dangerous situations. So do not set a goal to completely get rid of fears, better learn to live with them.

Feeling of fear is always a test. Tempering nature of the event surrounds each of us. Do not avoid them unnecessarily - learn to overcome, each time controlling their emotions. Every small victory over your own fear will temper your character and give a reasonable reason for pride.

Give due tribute to the sport

Talking about how to temper the character of a man, many immediately mention regular physical activity. But sport is also important for a woman.

This question is especially relevant for those who do not like to hang on a bar or lift weights. Consider options, look for something that you like. Perhaps your option - it's not a gym and fitness, but motocross or horse riding?

Sport perfectly tempers the body and character. Remember: classes should be regular, and the reason to skip training can be considered unless the disease. A person who is strong in spirit can not by definition be a slacker and a deer.

Do not be afraid of kind words

Can a strong person say: "I'm sorry", "I'm guilty," "I was mistaken," "I was wrong"? Do not you think this is a sign of weakness?

Remember: deliberate rudeness, inflexibility, rigidity - these are not signs of strength. Most often, this is a mask behind which complex weakness is hidden.

Psychologists insist that it is much more difficult to pronounce these words than to spew out the streams of reproaches and accusations. Recognize the error is only possible by the strongest spirit of people. Tell your loved ones about your feelings, do not be afraid to repent before them (because we are all not sinless). Do not be shy of this, do not skimp on sincere kind words.

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