How to live with my husband if there is no mutual understanding? Mutual understanding in the family

"He does not understand me!" - this phrase at least once in the life of each married woman. What is this: simple words, spoken on emotions, or a statement of fact? Then how to live with her husband if there is no mutual understanding? Or maybe it's not a specific man, but all? Perhaps they are at a genetic level unable to understand women and satisfy all their desires and needs? All this will be discussed in this article.

Short-lived happiness from marriage

In the first days and weeks of marital relations, as well as in the beginning of dating and the birth of love, it seems that at last happiness has come. The newlyweds are in a great mood, they find the family life easy, cloudless and infinitely joyful. But very soon this euphoria ends, and gray everyday life, everyday troubles come to replace it, and also one of the most common reasons for quarrel: the problem of mutual understanding. The better a man and a woman get to know each other in marriage, the weaker becomes their sexual attraction, because their dreams are fulfilled, turning into a real life, and hence sex from a stormy passion passed into the ordinary discharge of marital duties.

Marriage kills romance

Over time, the husband and wife cease to treat each other as tenderly and gently as before the wedding. There is no caress, flirting, compliments are spoken less and less, they are replaced by criticism and mutual claims. In each of the spouses egoism awakens, it would be desirable that the partner in all indulged and appeased. Such desires give rise to omissions, resentment, disappointment.

If you want to keep mutual understanding in the family for as long as possible, then you need to cherish love, try to bring to the everyday life at least a drop of romance: a small surprise, flowers without reason, walks in the park, a kiss at a meeting and goodbye. And he should not be friendly, on the cheek, but real, passionate. Such as if you are not married, as when you only met and had not yet had time to get saturated with each other. Love will keep the marriage until long greedy long kisses take place.

There is no mutual understanding with the husband

Preservation of marriage and the construction of family comfort - a difficult matter, but feasible, if it takes for both spouses. Most often it happens that the wife beats in the closed door, trying for the benefit of her husband, and in return receives no thanks. Men in a marriage include a consumer attitude towards a woman who must cook, wash, clean, give birth to children, do them themselves, do not interfere with watching TV, yet still work, look good, but do not spend money on cosmetics and beauty salons . The spouse is sure that he does not owe anything and is quite capable of making his wife happy simply by his presence, at best also with a paid salary. Tired of this situation, asking periodically to herself the question of how to live with her husband, if there is no mutual understanding, the woman does not find the right answer and decides on the divorce. But is marriage doomed? After all, more recently, you lived the dreams of this man, looked forward to the meeting, solemnly swore in the registry office in eternal love and care in sorrow and joy.

Psychologists suggest using some recommendations, thanks to which mutual understanding and trust can return to family relations .

Tips for preserving marriage

1. It is necessary to try to understand the male psychology, because it is radically different from the female one. Men think and perceive the words of their beloved and in general everything that happens in another way, why girls think that they do not hear, do not like, do not appreciate, they do not respect. In the book "Men from Mars, women from Venus", a detailed description of such a problem as the lack of understanding, as well as how to deal with it without destroying the marriage bonds.
2. Give your husband freedom, do not forbid him and limit his control. For him it is very important to stay in meditation, and also to do what he likes. If he wants to meet with friends from time to time, go fishing or play chess, let him do it. Personal time will benefit both spouses. His wife will have the opportunity to meet with friends, go shopping or play sports.
3. Accept the husband as he is with all his faults. Do not try to change it, as this venture is doomed to failure: it is almost impossible to force an adult to live differently, contrary to his preferences. Especially since you married him, it means he's not so bad. Therefore, try to see only its positive qualities. And if some of his actions you really do not like, then it's worth talking about it. You do not need to keep silent about the problems, because sometimes a spouse may not even know about their existence.
4. Do not save in yourself anger and anger. We need to talk about our problems, not to swear, but to discuss and conduct a constructive dialogue. Silence leads to the fact that one spouse runs out of patience, and the other does not even guess all the time that the situation at home is not ideal.
5. Mutual understanding in the family is impossible without communication of partners on all exciting and conflict topics. Learn to listen to your interlocutor, do not interrupt. Do family business together, so you can devote more time to each other.
6. Work problems and tension let them remain outside the threshold of a family nest. It is difficult for her husband to understand his wife if yesterday, coming home from work, she embraced him, and today she shouted from the doorway, although in both cases he did the same thing. Emotional differences are typical for women. On such days the husband is an occasional "lightning rod". If he is aware that his wife has such an attack, then his correct behavior is to remain silent, not reacting with a cry for screaming.

Happy wife - a myth or reality?

As you know, any fairy tale can be realized. So, a happy married life is quite real. This couple always has time and desire for simple tokens, thanks to which you can feel the warmth, attention and love. After all, it's not at all difficult to warn in advance that you are late from work, in the daytime, allocate a couple of minutes, call and find out how things are. Having met in the evening in the kitchen, a loving husband and wife will always ask how each day passed. These little things allow you to feel what they think about you, worry that you are an important part of a partner's life.

If there is no happiness

How to live with her husband, if there is no mutual understanding in the family, even after all the above tips have been implemented? With a probability of 90%, we can say that this article will be read by women, which means that they will be the only ones to implement the recommendations. But you can not achieve a positive result, if both spouses are not working to maintain relations. Usually men do not think about such subtle matters as harmony and mutual understanding, it's more important for them to be satiated and watch TV. Such a marriage will last exactly as long as the patience of women suffices.

To accept or disperse?

The opinion imposed by the society influences the adoption of the right decision by the tired wife. Almost every council says that a woman should be near her husband, tolerate and accept her difficult share. Many ladies believe that all men are bad, but living alone is even worse and therefore they turn a blind eye to drunkenness, laziness, treason. All this translates into scandals, tantrums, hundreds and thousands of dead nerve cells. If the family has children, then they are involuntary witnesses of such dramas. Girls, seeing an unhappy mother, begin with a young age to hate their father, and then men. Children are building a wrong model of relations between a man and a woman, because of which it will be difficult for them in the future to build their own cell of society. Therefore, sometimes the question of how to live with her husband, if there is no mutual understanding, there is only one right answer: no way!

Freedom or loneliness?

Not someone who has his small copy is not alone. Do not forget that the family - this is primarily blood ties, which means that after parting with your husband, you are not deprived of a family, if you have a child. If you did not find common goals and interests with the spouse that could consolidate the marriage, you always have a chance to build a harmonious relationship with your child. And if your boy is a boy, you must certainly try to raise him so that your future daughter-in-law tells you "thank you."