How to cope with jealousy - tips for every day

If love is considered the most mysterious feeling that comes to us from nowhere and sometimes goes nowhere, then jealousy has quite specific coordinates and causes. And even on the strength and passion of manifestations, jealousy sometimes can shut up for the belt and the deepest love experiences.

Psychologists subdivide this emotional state into such categories: male jealousy, female jealousy, childish jealousy. Each species has its own sources and ways to solve the problem. Unites their common mechanism of manifestation: suspicion towards specific people or one person, the moment of a psychological outbreak and, as a result, anger, resentment, a desire to revenge, anger and even hatred. Therefore, it is worth considering how to cope with jealousy, the source of many problems and troubles.

The reason for jealousy

Strange as it may seem, a man can begin to be jealous of his woman without any intelligible reason. The reason can serve anything - "extra" ten minutes, which a girlfriend or wife spoke on the phone with her mother instead of running headlong into the kitchen to warm up dinner. Unexpected meeting of his girlfriend with her ex-boyfriend or old acquaintance and their conversation in warm, friendly tones. The animated atmosphere of "little girls' gatherings, from which SHE returns in such a cheerful mood, in which it rarely happens, being near him. Yes, you never know! The main thing here is a sense of ownership. Men do not hide this. They are proprietors by nature, it was transferred to them from their ancestors, who lived millions of years ago in caves and a strong club, meeting anyone who was approaching a dangerous distance to their dwelling, prey or woman and children. The concept of "my - do not touch!" Is so ingrained in their psychology that no lessons of good manners and civilizations can completely erase it. Therefore, no, no, yes, the wild, furious Othello glimpsed under the outward shine of good manners of intelligent, educated, intelligent man.

By the way, psychologists paid attention to this nuance: male jealousy and symptoms of its manifestation often depend on the mood. When a man is in good spirits, not hungry, sleeps, etc., he will calmly react to many irritants, from which, in another state, without hesitation, would arrange a "mockery" to the alleged opponent and "interrogation with addiction" of a hypothetical "traitor" .

Do not forget that a psychological relationship in a couple, a microclimate, too, can provoke male jealousy. Reducing attention or some cooling feelings, sexual attraction, the emergence of a woman's new interests and hobbies, work, career or the birth of a child - and now the man already feels not destiny, abandoned and forgotten, which means ... Yes, yes, he begins to be jealous. And if he understated self-esteem, complexes and self-doubt, a small salary and even some "minuses" (which he himself and napridumyval), then it is difficult to find a more fertile ground for scenes and scandals.

Work on bugs

How to deal with jealousy, if she began to undermine your relationship like rust, destroying iron? The question of uneasy, unambiguous answers is not a panacea for it, but the general method of treatment, of course, can be worked out. Why treatment? Because jealousy is something like a pathology, a manifestation of a person's mental instability, an excessive aggressiveness of a great destructive force, in which the breaking of relations is almost inevitable. And the popular statement "is jealous - it means, loves" has long been transformed into a category of alogisms and remnants of the past.

So, what can you advise jealousy and their half? Illness is always easier to prevent. Therefore, if you notice for your man Othello's manners, think in advance how to cope with the jealousy of a loved one and direct his emotions to a peaceful channel. First of all, one should try not to provoke outbreaks, to extinguish them on the root, not to give reasons. Cultivate in a man a sense of self-confidence and self-sufficiency. To show more and, most importantly, sincerely, respect for him, consult with him and listen to his opinion. In general, the warmth and sincerity in the relationship has never been prevented by anyone!

But a man should work on himself, because how to deal with jealousy - his problem, if he is showing this jealousy. First of all, you should trust your beloved woman more. To understand that she is not a thing, but a living being and a free being. And since she is with you, this is her free choice, made consciously, lasting, real, calculated for long years of happy living together.