Conflict: exit from conflict. Strategies and ways out of conflict

Conflict is the most ancient and natural form of relationships. Even dinosaurs, alien to any social interaction, could tell a lot about it. After all, when one wants to eat, and the other does not want to be in a toothy jaw, there is an obvious conflict of interest. And what can we say about people! Conflicts accompany them from birth to old age. With friends and parents, with colleagues and loved ones, with yourself, after all. A person at every step risks becoming entangled in a conflict. The way out of the conflict is an art that helps to save not only friendly relations with others, but also your own nerves.

Conflict - the pros and cons

Conflict is a situation in which each side pursues mutually exclusive goals. Or, if it is an internal dilemma, a person can not make a choice between equally attractive behaviors.

Everyone knows that quarrels and disputes are a very unpleasant thing. It is rare to find a person who enjoys, getting involved in a conflict. The way out of the conflict is a welcome option for the overwhelming majority. But if you think about it, even from an argument, you can learn useful lessons. In the course of the dispute, you can better know your partners, identify problems in the team and even effectively solve them. The tense situation often stimulates people, forces them to develop, to reveal their own potential, to seek innovative moves that allow optimizing interaction in the group.

Primary Situation Analysis

Of course, it is better to negotiate peacefully, kindly and respecting each other's interests. But this is not always possible. There are situations when conflict is inevitable. Leaving the conflict with the least losses in this case is the main task of each of the participants.

Before you take any action, you need to stop and think. Stress is the inevitable companion of any quarrel, and he is a bad adviser. Therefore, you need to try to calm down, turn off emotions and analyze the current situation. Perhaps the ways out of the conflict will be found quickly enough, it may be necessary to exert much effort to resolve the situation. But, one way or another, there will be some analytical work to be done. Any clash of interests is akin to a party in chess. The one who can soberly assess the situation and make the only correct decision wins.

Working with conflict information

To analyze the current situation, you need to collect a maximum of information. First of all, it is necessary to determine what exactly is the subject of the dispute. Is it a material good or an idea? Can you divide the desired at all or is competition really inevitable? Is it possible to eliminate the cause of the conflict or replace it with a less controversial object? It is possible that during such an analysis it will become obvious that the dispute can be resolved right at the initial stage. It's enough just to make certain manipulations with the object that causes the conflict. The exit from the conflict in this case will be acceptable for all its participants. If two children quarrel because of the chocolate, the easiest way is to break it in two, this is obvious. But the same principle applies in adult life. If the cause of the conflict is an attractive position, and both applicants are equally professional and competent - perhaps it is worth thinking about making changes to the staffing table. And let there be two deputy chiefs, with differentiation of official duties.

Studying the motivation of the participants

Then you need to collect information about all the participants in the dispute, find out who they are, what they want. Psychological features of personality, moral criteria, true goals and motives - all this is extremely important. What exactly can each of the participants do? Why? Do they have any hidden motives? Which ways out of the conflict is preferable for each participant?

It is necessary to consider the influence of the social environment on the situation. They approve or disapprove of the surrounding conflict participants, whether they support, or, on the contrary, interfere with the achievement of the goal. For example, if the cause for the conflict is an accident, and the witnesses are colleagues of one of the participants in the accident, the second driver can hardly count on objective testimony. And regardless of whether they love his opponent at work or, on the contrary, can not stand. Just in one case, witnesses will fence off a colleague, and in the other, they will remember with pleasure the past grievances. To propose strategies for getting out of the conflict, without taking into account the influence of the social environment, is quite light-minded.

The influence of subjective factors on the conflict

A very important factor is not only the objective component of conflicts, but also a subjective element. Yet this is a clash of human interests, and people are far from impartiality. Each of the participants in the conflict represents, as he looks from the outside, attributes to the opponent certain opinions and judgments, based only on his own ideas about him - this phenomenon is called "secondary reflection". The way out of social conflict often rests on such deliberate prejudice of the parties. It's hard to persuade people not to quarrel who do not think well about each other. But it is almost impossible to reconcile those who are sure that the enemy hates them or despises them. Few people like sitting at the entrance gossip, although they do not do anything wrong. Just everyone is sure that the pensioners who have gathered in the circle just do that they condemn everyone passing by, suspecting him of the most black sins. And this is enough for the appearance of dislike, even if the grandmothers simply discuss the watched TV series. Such moments also need analysis, they need to be taken into account, exploring the conflict and ways out of it.

Selecting an Action Script

After collecting all the necessary information and analyzing it, we need to make predictive options for resolving the conflict. What will happen at the most favorable coincidence of circumstances, that - in the worst case, how the situation will develop, if at all to stop any actions, to lower, as they say, on brakes.

Only by analyzing all the components of the problem that has arisen, one can begin to work out a strategy for getting out of the conflict. In this case, the decision will be optimal.

Experts distinguish five basic strategies for overcoming a tense situation: avoidance, compromise, rivalry, cooperation and adaptation. Choosing between these options, you need to correlate the goals with the methods to achieve them. Hardly, having adopted a tough strategy, you can maintain a healthy atmosphere in the team or put the fugitive in place, choosing the path of compromise.

Of course, to reconcile colleagues in the office is not the same as looking for ways out of interethnic conflicts. But the principle is the same: restore peace and tranquility, maximally respecting the interests of all stakeholders.

Rivalry

One of the toughest variants of the strategy is rivalry. When choosing such a scenario, one of the parties completely suppresses the other, imposing an image of actions. Of course, it can not be said that this is a productive and tolerant way. It is unlikely that it should be used too often, because with such a development of events one of the participants remains extremely disappointed and angry. Relations in the team, most likely, will be spoiled strongly and for a long time. Such methods of exit from the conflict are applicable only if the proposed solution is beneficial for the whole team, and not for individual stakeholders, and there is no time or opportunity to convince opponents. Although there are situations when exactly rivalry becomes the only acceptable way out of the situation. If hooligans are trying to take away from a passer-by, it's hardly worth bargaining and looking for compromises that satisfy both sides of the conflict.

Compromise

Compromise, as the name suggests, provides for partial satisfaction of the interests of each of the parties. Such an exit from the conflict presupposes the desire of the opponents to reach at least an interim agreement, sacrificing some of their demands for this. Most often, they resort to compromise, if the possibilities of the parties are equal, and the cause of the collision is not of a fundamental nature. In this case, it is better to abandon a number of claims, rather than risk losing everything by losing the argument. The main drawback of such a strategy is that the achieved peace is rarely long-term. It is too tempting to try to win back those points that were previously sacrificed, when the balance of power changes in the right direction and one of the parties will get an advantage.

Assignment

The ways to get out of the conflict do not always imply even a partial satisfaction of the interests of each side. In some cases, one of the participants simply refuses their claims, leaving the conflict. This strategy is called adaptation, or concession. Of course, such a method of conflict resolution can not be called popular. Compulsions are resorted to compulsorily. Usually one of the parties realizes that she simply does not have enough strength to fight. Or comes to the conclusion that the goal in this case does not justify the means. Returning to the example of hooligans and passersby: an assignment is the situation when a person gives a purse to a robber, deciding not to risk his life for a few bills.

However, the reverse option is possible. Such pacifist ways of getting out of the conflict can be used by the participants who realized their own wrongness and recognized it. In this case, the rejection of unjustified claims requires courage and will power, since, in fact, is a public repentance.

Avoiding problem solving

If all the ways out of the conflict, providing for active actions, did not yield a result, one of the parties may simply be withdrawn. This strategy is called avoiding a solution to a problem, or avoiding it. In this case, the conflict is not so much resolved as it simply ceases to exist, like a fire in which no one throws firewood. If confrontation has existed for a long time, and no promising ways to solve the problem have been found, avoidance can be recognized as one of the most effective strategies. Why waste time and resources on fruitless struggles, if they can be used more wisely? Not every goal is worth fighting for it endlessly.

Cooperation

The rules for getting out of the conflict state that the best solution is a solution that best meets the interests of each of the parties. None of the strategies meet this requirement in the same way as cooperation. In this case, the parties not only make mutual concessions, they actively cooperate, creating alternative ways of solving the problem. Recognizing the obvious importance of resolving the conflict, its participants seek to jointly solve the difficulties that have arisen. As a result of using such a strategy, it is possible not only to successfully solve the existing problem, but also to lay the foundation for further fruitful cooperation.

Making a choice in favor of one of the strategies, it should be remembered that the same decision is made by the opponent. There is a high probability that while one side leans in favor of a compromise, the other categorically does not want to give up positions. Therefore, strategies can be adjusted, if necessary, replaced by more appropriate situations. Carefully studying the conflict and ways out of it, you need to monitor the moves of the enemy and analyze them before making an important decision.