What questions should you ask the aging parents?

The questions that we ask our parents sometimes put them in an awkward position. As a child, we put them at a dead end, wondering where the children come from. We also talked about other sensitive topics. At a time when we are stepping over the threshold of adulthood, it seems that inconvenient situations in which we involuntarily put them will never happen again. But this is not so. Aging parents require long-term care, but they are still too independent and self-willed. In this article, we will touch on the main questions that, despite the embarrassment, you must ask them.

Do they have a will?

In the will, a person can indicate to whom he writes off property, assets, pets, souvenirs and other valuables. If one of the relatives dies without leaving a will, then the whole family expects long litigation or real battles for the abandoned values. Well, if all parties manage to agree. If this does not happen, be prepared for the fact that you will incur considerable legal costs and spend a lot of nerves. Even if the father verbally expressed his will on his deathbed, this will not be considered in court as evidence. The judge will base his decision on the established legal norms.

How tactful is it to hint to elderly parents about this delicate topic? "I can not even imagine what will happen if I lose you. But if something suddenly happens, I want to be sure that all your wishes will be fulfilled. Have you already made a will? "

Other financial issues

Do you have reliable insurance agents? Can they foresee all your financial needs?

Can I expect to receive a notarized power of attorney if you lose your legal capacity?

Do you need help in handling financial obligations or in checking bank accounts and credit cards?

Do you need help paying current accounts? If so, I am ready to share financial obligations with you.

On the inability to maintain a large house

If your parents are no longer able to maintain a large country house, you can tactfully invite them to help in the exchange of housing for a more suitable option. In this case, the benefit will be obvious: the difference in the exchange can be put in a bank account, there is no need to follow the huge plantation of vegetable and garden crops, you will not need to spend so much energy on cleaning a huge living space. You can ask about this in the following way.

Do you want to live in your house for as long as possible? Is it hard for you to manage your own business independently? Can I help you in the house? Do you want to somehow secure your home?

In this case, it would be superfluous to have an au pair, but, unfortunately, we can not afford it. Maybe it's time to move to a more modest home? Believe me, it will be easier for you to exist there in many ways.

If one of you is left alone, does he think about his future life? Is he ready to move to a family with one of us?

If you do not want to be a burden to us, did you think about moving to a boarding house for the elderly? In any case, people at your age need quality medical care and communication with people.

Our family can not provide constant care, because we need to pay a mortgage. Maybe we should hire a nurse for the time when we work?

About medical care

If it happens that you can not make your own decisions, and doctors will demand them, can I count on written permission to act on your behalf?

Do you have full insurance?

Do I need to accompany one of you to see a doctor? Can I expect to get acquainted with the history of the disease and can I talk with the attending physician?

Where do you keep the documents? Can I have access to them?