Sex education of adolescents: methods, problems, books

Your child has so long remained for you the smallest and most gentle creature on earth. But time goes inexorably, and here before you is a teenager who claims his rights and desires, and besides, he has a lot of uncomfortable questions. Menstrual cycle, the first and sexual fantasies, body changes and relationships with the opposite body. The topics are very delicate, and most parents prefer to avoid them. However, the sexual education of adolescents is an extremely important issue, and its ignoring often leads to disastrous consequences.

First Changes

The age at which they become particularly noticeable can be different. For some, this is 11 years, for others - 14. At this time, the active development of the body as a whole. The body weight and growth are significantly increased, working capacity is increasing, all physiological systems are actively developing. But most active at this time are the glands of internal secretion. Under their influence, even behavior changes. Sex education for adolescents should begin as early as possible, correctly responding to all questions and not ignoring the topics of interest to him, so as not to create an information vacuum.

School or parents

This is another important issue. More recently, sexual education of adolescents did not take place at all. The information had to be collected by the children themselves according to the grains, recognizing it from their older comrades. As a result, she acted in a distorted and not always complete form. Today, society has finally reached the point that it is extremely important to educate a teenager not only in the bosom of the family, but also to conduct special education in the framework of school education.

The introduction of special subjects helps to raise the level of information awareness and enables every teenager to ask questions of his interest. Thus, it can be said that the sexual education of adolescents is the task of the whole society as a whole. That's why today there are so many information clips that are broadcast on television. They are called in an accessible and simple form to convey to yesterday's child the most important information that he so needs.

At the intersection of physiology and psychology

Both the boy and the girl become completely different in their incomplete 14 years, which often causes anxiety for a caring parent. Yes, and how not to worry, if the affectionate and contact child suddenly starts to become isolated in himself, fence off, he has his own life, about which he does not want to tell anything. In fact, he himself does not fully understand what is happening to him. The matter is that the pubertal period is characterized by a sharp hormonal splash. It is thanks to this that there is an active appearance of secondary sexual characteristics, the formation of constitutional features of the body, the breaking of the voice and all the accompanying changes with the external and internal sexual organs.

But that is not all. The boy and girl still do not know what exactly is happening in their body, so all the changes can scare. The activity of the gonads easily explains the instability of autonomic functions and frequent mood swings. As you can see, changes in behavior are justified. The increased activity of the sex glands at this time also plays a role. Hormones are allocated as much as does not even an adult. In this case, the teenager does not have the opportunity to fully realize this energy. This results in rudeness and stubbornness. Do not be offended, it is best to teach the child to adequately implement everything in the right direction. Help interesting classes, sports, outdoor activities.

Objectives of the school

Sex education in our school is in its infancy. This is facilitated by the moment that most of the information that is related to sex in our society is taboo. It is a relic of the Soviet past, when sex education in school was reduced to a page in the textbook of anatomy, where the sexual organs of a man and a woman were drawn. But this information was not received any comments from the teacher.

Why is it recommended to work in a team? Because there is an opportunity to invite qualified specialists and experts who will give the information that each parent individually does not own in full. Or, if he does, he does not know how to convey to the growing up child. The second point: this information immediately spreads to the whole class, that is, each of the students has a correct idea about the nature of sexuality. As a result, it will be easier for them to conduct discussions outside the classroom.

The main problems that sex education solves in school

• First of all it is necessary to name the filling of information vacuum. Teenagers have always been interested in forbidden topics. However, distorted or inaccurate information often does more harm than good.
• Prophylaxis of problems that bears in itself an early onset of sexual activity. Today this issue is becoming more urgent. Even if the very fact of early admission to adulthood persists, it is imperative that the security for both partners be respected.
• Prevention of sexual violence. Sexual education for girls must necessarily include informing adolescents about the problem of pedophilia, in order to reduce the number of abuse of them by adult men.

Information block

Do not forget that the information must arrive in a timely and strictly in the required amount. In three years the question "how did I come about?" You can tell a story about the king and queen, who were very fond of each other and slept tightly embracing in one bed. And one day they realized that someone had appeared in the belly of the queen. He grew up quickly, and soon the court doctor said that it was a girl. Everyone was very happy. And when she grew up, she came into the world.

Usually, when entering the garden, the child begins to understand the difference between the sexes. Again, do not brush aside such questions. Confirm that the genitals are arranged differently, boys look like a cock, and girls have a slit. While this will be enough.

When the child reaches the age of five, you can add a little information about how he got to mom in the tummy. Here it is appropriate to tell that the pope gave his mother a cage. She connected with my mother's cell, and a child developed from it. If the baby saw dogs or cats on the street at an intimate moment, and he again had questions, then you can stick to the same version. So animals transmit each other their cells, and soon there will be babies in the tummy of a female.

Age 8-9 years is considered optimal for the first conversations about sex. This does not mean that the child needs to be planted and give him everything you know. But after seeing the advertisement of the gaskets, you can start a conversation with the girl that she will soon begin menstruation and begin to grow breasts. Now she will become even more beautiful and turn into a young girl. To the boy, the husband can tactfully tell about the approaching pollutions and the breaking of the voice. Again, it must be emphasized that this is a normal phenomenon, and it says that everything is in order with the body.

About 8-9 years, you can already talk about sex. Explain that the genitals have serious names - the penis and the vagina. Hugs and kisses are very pleasant for both men and women. From this, the penis is enlarged and can be inserted into the vagina as a key. From it come the sperm that connect with the female egg and form a new life. On this basis in the 13-14 years can be imposed a conversation about contraception and protection from sexually transmitted diseases. The main thing is not to compose fairy tales and fables, but to talk to the child seriously and frankly.

What parents should learn

The issues of sexual education for adolescents seem to us so delicate in the first place because our parents did not conduct such conversations with us. And so far, although we already have grown-up children themselves, it's too unethical to talk about "this". However, you should be well aware of the following points:

• Personality and sexuality are indivisible. This rule also applies to sex education, which can not be considered separately. The child just needs to be properly educated, communicate with him and answer his questions.
• Work on sex education with teenagers should be conducted long before they reached this very age. All questions asked by the child should be taken seriously, and the answer to them is built as wisely as possible. It is not necessary to tell a three-year-old child tales about a stork. It is enough to say now that parents love each other and that's why a baby appears in the tummy of my mother. As it grows, you can increase the amount of information.
• In fact, giving a child a good idea of an intimate life is not more difficult than teaching any other things.

Basic Rules for Parents

We all come from Soviet childhood, which leaves its imprint. But in fact, the sex education of teenagers by parents is a consequence of properly developed trust relationships. His houses will always be heard, he will be believed and protected. If parents were able to prove in practice that they are worthy of this trust, then no problems will arise in the future.

The second point is the personality of the parent himself. The problems of sex education are often associated with the fact that an adult has to meet with his own complexes and problems, carry out internal work on them. And the most important thing is not to pass them on to your child. It is only a matter of treating your body and the process of conception as such. It must be uniquely positive. There is nothing wrong with the body.

Well, one more thing: in the process of sex education, a very important role is played by the situation in the family. Normal, trusting and warm relations of mom and dad contribute to a natural perception of the child sex differences between men and women.

Pedagogy of sex education

Of course, not all parents are teachers and psychologists, therefore this aspect of upbringing is perceived with certain difficulties. Moreover, sexuality education of the younger generation is one of the weakest areas of modern and, in particular, family pedagogy. Not all parents, like teachers, fully understand what is included in it.

Gender problems of sexual education of adolescents arise sharply in single-parent families, where the parent educates the children of the opposite sex. However, a married couple sometimes can not decide who will talk with their daughter or son on this or that topic. However, the main thing here is to understand that sex education is a complex of pedagogical influences on the person being educated. This issue is examined from two sides:

• This is an integral part of moral education. If the child has clearly formed such concepts as maiden's honor, moral cleanness, masculine dignity, respect for a woman, friendship and love, then consider that you fulfilled your mission.
• The second aspect is a social and hygienic problem, which is related to health and well-being. That is, a certain minimum of knowledge is simply necessary.

It is precisely the full disclosure of these two aspects and implies sexual education. Topics should be raised as the interest of the child is formed. It is impossible to separate sexual education from the development of moral qualities.

The main tasks that are common for the family and the school

The program of sexual education for adolescents should be unified, because it serves the same purposes. Today in our society there is a tendency to conduct a promiscuous sexual life, the number of divorces is growing. And it affects the demographic situation is far from the best way. The newly introduced and strengthened notions of civil and guest marriage bring their confusion to the general picture of the world, which the children absorb. There is nothing better for the formation of a correct model of peace and gender relations than a model of a strong and united family.

Proceeding from this, let's formulate the main tasks that pursue the sexual education of adolescents, and the role of the school in this matter:

• Formation of a positive attitude to a healthy lifestyle and the desire to have a real, united family.
• Help in understanding your needs and adequate ways to meet them.
• Providing children with literate information that will provide an opportunity to understand what is happening to them and to adapt to changes.
• Education of a sense of respect for other people, representatives of men and women.

The school is a social institution where boys and girls learn not only to read and write, but also to build the first relationships with representatives of the opposite sex. Therefore, teachers should be involved in the process no less than the parents. They have tasks even globally, since the correction of the sex education of teenagers, run in the family, falls on the shoulders of the school teacher or social worker.

Basic directions of sex education

We have already considered the main tasks, in accordance with which it is necessary to build work for both teachers and parents. Sexual education of girls in the classical sense will be aimed at forming an understanding of themselves, as the keeper of the family hearth, traditions, the successor of the family. Boys learn to respect for a woman, gentle and careful attitude to her, protection. Thus, it is possible to formulate several directions of sex education:

• Sexual education. It helps to form psychological masculinity and femininity. In addition, it is in school that children learn to establish effective communication among themselves, as representatives of the male and female.
• Sexual education. It is aimed primarily at the optimal formation of sexually-erotic orientations.
• Preparation for responsible marriage. First and foremost, the attitudes of a mutually responsible partnership must be worked out.
• Preparation for responsible parenthood.
• The idea of a healthy lifestyle should be a red thread here. It is assimilated through the explanation of the dependence of sexuality, matrimony and parenthood on such harmful habits as alcoholism and drug addiction, from adultery and concomitant venereal diseases.

Methods of Sex Education for Adolescents

We have already understood well what tasks we are facing, so that the future generation will normally come into adulthood. At the same time I want to note that not so much is required from parents and teachers to carry out these tasks. The main tool is communication. First of all, you need to establish contact with the child and gain his confidence, and then already carry out the process of education. However, communication can be different. Today we will distinguish two main ones that can be used:

• Methods of orienting communication are unhurried conversations and explanations in the process of communication. The most effective way of such communication is the question-and-answer option. Discussion of various situations and lectures is another form of educational activities.
• Methods of educating communication is another big section that says that a person in the process of upbringing does not just assimilate certain norms and rules, but also experiences some feelings that form psychological neoplasms. Sex education can not be reduced only to the assimilation of certain norms. Among the methods of education can be identified reception of positive samples of gender-role behavior, as well as methods of approval and disapproval. However, they act only because they cause certain emotions. Therefore, the correct choice of means of influence and individual approach are so important.

The best assistants

Most parents are faced with the fact that they lack the right words and explanations, especially when it comes to sex education. The book is the best help. Choose a good encyclopaedia and give it to a teenager when he is 10-12 years old. His interest in forbidden topics will only grow, and when he comes up with the question of who a gay or transvestite is, you can always refer to a book. For example: "In the encyclopedia this question is sanctified better, let's look together."

Sexual education of the child is a joint journey into the world of adult people. From the very first days of your life, you have taught your child so many things that it is a habit for you. All the difficulties that arise with sex education are associated only with our own fears and complexes and shame. Do not focus on this so as not to pass it on to the child. Respond calmly and accurately. And so that the child does not catch you unawares, think in advance of possible answers to the question.

Do not wait for the child to start asking questions. According to the age, it is possible to start difficult conversations in the form of informational tales or leisurely conversations in the most suitable moment for this. And most importantly - it is the formed trust between you and the child.

What books can I recommend

On the shelves of shops a lot of literature, but not all is suitable for literate education of a teenager. And there are books that are best read to parents, to be able to competently tell the child about everything that interests him. Among them we can mention:

• "From diapers to the first dates" D. Haffner.
• "Where did I come from. Sexual encyclopedia for children 5-8 years old »V. Dumont.
• "Encyclopedia of sexual life for children 7-9 years. Physiology and psychology ». K. Verdu.

If you want to additionally give an opportunity to a teenager to read and find answers to your questions, it is recommended to buy him a book "My body is changing. All that teens want to know and what the parents are shy about telling "Clever publishing house. Having presented this book, do not forget to tell your child that you are open to dialogue, and everything that he will read here, you can discuss additionally.