Resentment is what? How is it dangerous and how to fight it?

Probably, there is no such person in the world who has never offended anyone in his life. Anyway, this feeling is familiar to everyone: it eats from the inside, does not allow to think sensibly, to make responsible decisions. Modern scientists have proved the destructive effect of resentment on the human body and the powerful damage caused to it by the psyche. In other words, resentment is a slow movement into the abyss, which will invariably swallow the one who is in it. About what this uneasy incomprehensible feeling is, what danger is in itself, how to get rid of it, and this article will tell.

Where do the roots come from?

If we look at the nature of this mysterious phenomenon, then the following unpleasant picture looms. A man resents others when he feels anger and irritation. It seems to him that he was treated unfairly. At the root of resentment is always wounded pride. That is, a person who is offended, subconsciously puts himself above others and wants to control the situation. He wants the environment not only to be considered with his opinion, but obediently obeyed. He needs to know, own information, manage the behavior of close people.

Words of resentment can sit deeply in the subconscious and hurt a person again and again, causing vivid painful memories. It would seem that time has passed, the offender is not around, and the person still suffers, suffers because of a couple of phrases abandoned once in passing. Absurd? Then why do we sometimes live this way ourselves, realizing how difficult it is to get rid of offense?

Destructive effect

For those who take offense a lot, for whom the behavior of the offended is a lifestyle, as a rule, persistent violations of an adequate perception of reality are revealed. They are able to behold behind the words of the neighbor a second meaning, which was not originally invested by the interlocutor. It's just that these people are always waiting for a dirty trick, a blow in the back. They do not believe that others can genuinely love them and worry about their well-being. Often they do not have friends because of their natural vigilance, which actually prevents them from finding happiness.

The reason for sensitivity is panic self-doubt, which can grow with age, progress. That's what offense is. Pictures of scenes that caused an unpleasant emotional response may not let the person go for years, fixing the consciousness of the loser behind him. It is important to get rid of negative emotions in time.

Child offense

We all come from childhood. What there just did not happen: quarrels among peers, misunderstanding by parents, jealousy towards younger brother or sister. The offense of a child is so powerful that it leaves a mark in adult life. It necessarily leaves an imprint on the value system, the human perception of the world. And in all these troubles parents in rare cases are able to really understand, comfort, caress.

They are so often busy that it remains only by vagaries and other bad antics attract their attention. Child offense Most acute, because the child is in principle not protected from the influence of environmental factors and often is not able to fully protect himself. Sometimes we can not guess that we have hurt our own child. The offending child is comparable only to a hurricane of emotions, which is difficult to control.

Betrayal of a spouse

Perhaps, this is the most painful thing that can happen in the lives of two lovers. And here the state of distrust and seclusion is fully justified. It is necessary to go through pain, place thoughts in places. It is known that the closest and dearest person is actually able to take the heart out of his chest with his actions and deeds. Then offense and pain literally overwhelm, not allowing to see the truth, denying the opportunity to learn to trust in the future, undermine faith in yourself and your strength. The abandoned woman or the abandoned man will need to go through several circles of hell in a literal and figurative sense in order to restore his peace of mind.

Relations with the world and yourself

Few know that Insult is The unconscious desire for death. The offended person usually does not realize this, but he shows an uncontrolled sense of aggression towards his opponent. Often that which does not make out in person, has a huge negative energy. It turns out that on a subtle level, people are often ready to destroy each other. Anyone who does not offend himself, is not really able to take offense at another. If a person is sufficiently confident in himself, then he is self-sufficient and strong. He who loves himself positively regards the world. He will not allow himself to accumulate destructive thoughts in his heart, he is rarely angry and displeased. When harmony prevails in a person, he knows how to truly rejoice and always aims at success.

The consequences of constant self-confidence and discontent with others

There are cases when people brought themselves to a nervous breakdown, trying to reach the causes of deep intrapersonal conflicts. You need to know where to look for the origins of the problem. Believe me, there are psychologists for this. Otherwise, it would be easy enough for each of us just to dig in our own head and thoughts.

Resentment is not just a accumulated negative over time. It is a painfully colored emotion that a person has experienced, perhaps not for one year, so getting rid of it is not really that simple. To work out the feelings it is important to choose a competent approach that would allow a person to be filled with new positive emotions and joy.

Factors affecting health

Physical health is closely related to the psychoemotional mood. That's why it's so important to take care of yourself, to treat your own feelings with increased attention and not to forget about the most important individual needs. Unfortunately, scientists have found a link between insult and cancer. That is, someone who periodically feels that he was treated unfairly, is annoyed, more often ill with cancer. The offending person in the body activated cells aimed at self-destruction. There is nothing surprising in that after a while such a person completely exhausts himself.

Another important factor is the attitude towards an unpleasant situation, to which a person is offended. There are people who in time are ready to forgive the opponent, even if he does not ask for it. Others sometimes, all their lives, can not cope with feelings of abandonment and rejection, do not forgive and do not forget offenses. It's really scary. A person who has not learned how to deal with insults, will inevitably make himself sick in the future, it will be very hard for him to live.

Than to be consoled?

If you were once very offended by someone, and you do not know how to cope with the oppressive feeling of insult, the tips below will help you. First of all it is necessary to understand one simple thing: the more you carry within yourself the insult, the more it grows inside of you. Stop feeding her, cherish her, and she will gradually melt. Understand that you are only hurting yourself. Resentment is, in fact, a living organism that reacts to the way you treat it. If you give him much attention, he begins to grow and strengthen. Do you need this? It is necessary to choose the method of forgiveness of the offender. Best if you have a direct link to it. But even in the event that you can not directly interact with it, you can let the offense out of your heart. To make it really is not as easy as it seems. It is necessary to work on yourself and sincerely wish forgiveness of this person. If you think that he deserves punishment, it means that deep down you are still not ready for self-healing.

A very good method is distraction. It works faultlessly. Find a hobby of your own and do it in your spare time. For some, knitting is suitable, for others - reading books or collecting dolls. Distraction is useful because it allows you to take disturbing thoughts with something new, switch attention and enjoy the process.

How to stop being offended?

For some people, resentment is synonymous with life. Accumulation of negative emotions occurs so often that one can not be surprised. In order not to aggravate the situation even more, it is necessary to learn to be freed from your "reserves" in time. How to do it? Realize that all people are different. It is rather difficult to understand, because we are always inclined to evaluate people through the prism of our own sensations. Although this is difficult, try to put yourself in the place of the offender. Think about what moved him at the time of your quarrel. Maybe he did not mean to offend you at all, but did you react so sharply? It is best to do an analysis of feelings in writing, then there is a high probability that you will forgive quickly.

How to strengthen relationships in the family

A sincere trusting relationship is the limit of the dreams of every normal person. Only, unfortunately, not everyone can be completely sincere in front of themselves and people. It is necessary to learn how to understand your partner well enough, so as not to offend him on trifles. Try to spend more time together, respect his or her choice, make each other pleasant surprises. If something happened between you, find out right away, on the same day, do not wait for the cup of patience to overflow.

Thus, quarrels, resentments - this is the lot of weak, self-confident people. A strong person always understands what he needs, and seeks to understand his neighbor. You need to make every effort to get rid of the insult. The more pain a person has in himself, the worse for him: the health suffers, the general psychological background, the probability of occurrence of oncological diseases grows. Get rid of offense - and life will seem easier!