Manipulation in communication

Manipulation in communication occurs constantly, and, despite the negative connotation inherent in this word, is not always evil. In this article we will consider the most typical examples of manipulation in communication between close people, in child-parent relations and in business communication.

Manipulation is defined as the impact on the communication partner in order to achieve the desired. And this influence is necessarily hidden, when the interlocutor speaks about one, wanting to get another. Manipulation in communication is constantly used not only by the employees of the trade of any link for profit. Consciously or not, everyone uses certain phrases to hold a loved one / cause him / her to feel guilty / compel to agree with a partner. Do you think that such games are above your dignity, and that you, as a reasonable person, do not succumb to these tricks? Remember, did you ever hear / use such phrases: "Only you understand me", "You do not love me at all!", "If you leave, then I ...". Arsenal is inexhaustible. However, much more often manipulations in communication look less ominous and pursue smaller goals. No one harmed the trivial "Nobody makes such a delicious tea!".

Manipulation in communication can be stretched in time. To keep the attention of the attachment object permanently, reminders are also used about the experiences of good, and expensive gifts, and shifting of responsibility, and pressure of public morality ...

Parents and children

The theme of manipulation in the child-parent relationship may not be so burning, but we all captured in the adult life a certain "baggage" from childhood and often continue to use the techniques that were learned in the family. Manipulation is harmless, when their goal - to feed and in time to bathe the child without an evening scandal. However, there are certain "taboos" for parents who want to grow up a self-confident and surrounding person. This is manipulation of feelings of love, fear, guilt and self-doubt ("If you do not do as I say, I'll give someone else's aunt").

At work

Manipulations in business communication are also widespread and rely on the same arsenal. They use a sense of pride, man's vanity; Can be applied and special tactics. For example, ignoring, that is, intentional inattention. Such tactics are aimed at creating feelings of anxiety, self-doubt. A tactic of motivation can also be used, when a positive motivation is created for the performance of other tasks by another person.

How to fight

If you think that you are being manipulated, and you are not going to give in anymore, there are a number of recommendations on how to counter this. First of all, trust your intuition and experience. If it seems to you that your partner is not entirely honest, most likely, you have an excuse. Perhaps it is given by facial expressions, a changing intonation. And if you guess that the suitcase has a second bottom, think about what it's all about. An inherent characteristic of manipulation in communication is the presence of a hidden motive. If it is already clear to you, you can directly interrupt the game that is unpleasant to you, letting the interlocutor understand that they have unraveled his intentions. In the case of relatives and relatives, this can be quite painful and fraught with a rupture of relations. You can also use the revealed truth for your own purposes, but for this you also need to have a cold head and also be at least a little manipulator.

Psychologists say that manipulation is an instrument of communication, and therefore in themselves are not "good" or "bad." It is important how they affect your life and to what extent you can resist them. Additional information can be obtained at special workshops, trainings, where skills of protection from manipulation are developed. Those who are just beginning to get acquainted with this vast topic, you can advise to get acquainted with the work of E. Bern, who calls manipulation of "games." This is a psychotherapeutic approach to the problem. Among those who rely on a social approach, first of all - the domestic author A. P. Egides, who offers an understandable view of manipulation and ways of counteracting them.