Co-dependence with alcoholism: how to get rid, how to behave? Treatment for co-addiction in alcoholism

In families in which a loved one suffers from such diseases as alcoholism, drug addiction, all household members are tormented. In addition, there is a great risk that one or more family members may develop codependence. It aggravates the condition of the patient and harms others. That is why it is necessary to overcome co-dependence with alcoholism. How to get rid of this condition?

What is codependency?

This problem has psychological causes. It arises in the close environment of a person who is dependent on alcoholism - his wife, children, mother. If a woman drinks, then the husband can get on the net.

Co-dependence with alcoholism is a complete dissolution in the dependent. It is expressed in the fact that life in the family is subject to the wishes and aspirations of the alcoholic. He is washed, cleaned up for him, all the problems that he is comfortable in a state of intoxication, try to decide for him. Dependent regret, justify any of his actions, hiding the fact of alcoholism.

Thus, a close environment creates greenhouse conditions for such a person - he does not need to answer for anything, all problems are solved by themselves.

Causes of codependence

The harmful habits of one of the members of the family are the most frequent sources of such subordination to relatives. However, this phenomenon can manifest itself in other conditions and even in perfectly well-off families. Therefore, to determine if there is co-dependence with alcoholism, how to get rid of it, you need to understand what the reasons for this behavior are hidden.

The sources of the appearance of an unpleasant phenomenon under favorable conditions can be:

• Insufficient self-realization of the person;
• Child abuse;
• Suffered shocks and shock conditions;
• Constant psychological pressure.

Usually codependence affects the life of the whole family. It manifests itself in excessive care, manifested by one member of the family in relation to others, infringement of one's own interests, the desire to show everyone that life is safe.

Alcoholic codependence and its symptoms

It is difficult for a person to accept the fact of submission. Most people even deny co-dependence on alcoholism. What to do in this situation? Initially, you should take this problem. To do this, as honestly as possible, analyze the following criteria.

The signs of alcoholic codependence are:

1. Excessive desire to control all actions of the alcoholic. This leads to a loss of the ability of the drinking person to be responsible for his actions.
2. Constant self-deception, that everything is fine and there is no problem.
3. The way of life of a drunk person becomes ordinary. The family is ready to endure everything.
4. Increased tolerance for drunken antics and the established way of life.
5. Own interests and needs are pushed into the background.
6. A co-dependent feels a sense of guilt.
7. Self-esteem is reduced.
8. Co-dependent is prone to depression, he is often visited by thoughts of suicide.
9. Tendency to tearfulness.
10. When communicating with people, problems arise.
11. The co-dependent ceases to look after himself.

Such people, no less than the alcoholic, need psychological help. You can not ignore this problem. Only competent specialists can help to resolve such situations.

Psychological model

Experts believe that co-dependency resembles the model "persecutor-victim-savior." What is it?

In the case of alcoholism and other bad habits, the co-dependent can perform in any of these roles:

1. Victim. A person constantly complains to relatives and friends who sympathize with him.
2. Pursuer. He tries to remedy the situation through threats or physical influence.
3. Savior. A person helps with small doses, achieving a permanent dependence of the alcoholic.

This is the psychology of codependence in alcoholism. And this must be fought. If one member of the family constantly drinks, and the other spends all the energy to stop it, then help is needed not only alcoholics. To treat it is necessary and sozavisimogo.

It is impossible to re-educate a patient with alcoholism. He needs serious treatment. Therefore, the alcoholic needs treatment to the narcologist, and the co-dependent should consult a psychiatrist.

Why it is important to eradicate codependency

This is the most important and the first step towards a harmonious life. Co-dependency for alcoholism and drug addiction is a kind of cobweb that holds a sick person with a dead grip, leaving him no chance of healing. Therefore, such a state should be disposed of.

Treatment of an alcoholic should begin with the psychological help of the co-dependent. After all, while there is a person who tolerates and solves all problems, the drinker does not need to change anything in his life.

When treating someone from family members from alcoholism, the following should be considered. A co-dependent can be disrupted. After all, he loses the meaning of life, which was to save the alcoholic.

A co-dependent person, who used to be busy with what he controlled, brought up, now feels unnecessary. He no longer needs someone to patronize. Against this background, such people are able to create an intolerable atmosphere in the house, to inflame passions. As a result, a relapse may occur. Therefore, the co-dependent person also needs adequate therapy, as does the alcoholic.

Methods of treatment

A person almost always denies co-dependence on alcoholism. How to get rid of a problem that is not even taken seriously? Only a competent psychologist or psychiatrist can help.

The alcoholic is of the opinion that his libation is not serious. He is sure that he can leave this occupation at any moment. The co-dependent explains his deviations by saying that he wants to support the patient and help him. And in his opinion, this is quite obvious. Therefore, the treatment of codependence begins with the recognition of the presence of the disease.

When the patient acknowledged that he is sick, psychological therapy begins, which includes:

• Individual conversations;
• Learning how to prevent stressful situations;
• Classes with a psychologist in a group of the same patients, communication with them;
• Teaching the skills of a calm and harmonious existence.

As a result of this treatment, the co-dependent should see his life from the outside. Only after that he will be able to understand what is required to do and what kind of behavior model to choose for communicating with loved ones.

Ridding yourself of guilt

Alcoholics tend to blame their addicts for their addiction. They constantly emphasize that they are not loved, do not pay attention to them. You can not believe this. The fact that a person abuses alcohol, his loved ones are not to blame. He just tries to justify his behavior. But it is on the basis of feelings of guilt that co-dependency develops with alcoholism. So stop blaming yourself in this situation.

The alcoholic must be treated

If the dependent promises that he himself will cope with the problem, do not believe him. Alcoholism is a serious illness, which requires the complex and skilled help of an expert in narcology. You should not try to cure a patient by folk and other methods on your own. This is often the way the co-dependents act. This is the wrong way. It aggravates the patient's condition. In addition, others suffer. Attempts to help, even harming yourself and your family, is a characteristic sign that there is co-dependence on alcoholism.

How to get rid of this attachment? Accept the fact that only a competent narcologist can cure alcoholism. Therefore, the doctor's help in the treatment of this disease is necessary. To exclude publicity, anonymous therapy can be provided.

Stop controlling

It is not necessary to violate the alcoholism of a loved one with violent and prohibitive measures. The drinker will always find an opportunity to drink. Therefore it is pointless to hide money or pour alcohol. This will only bring the dependent to the fact that he will begin to deceive his relatives with sophistication, to withhold part of his salary.

Often co-addicts set up a sick relative not to hide. And if he drinks, let him drink at home. After all, so it is under control. But this behavior creates only more comfortable conditions for the alcoholic: he drinks in warmth and comfort, no one swears.

Become a realist

It is necessary to look at things adequately. Alcoholics will not change their behavior, even if the life of the family radically changes for the better. Do not expect that this will happen by itself. We need to convince a person that without treatment, he can not cope with this disease.

Do not justify an alcoholic

Many co-dependents suffer humiliation, insults and even beatings. You can not justify the inappropriate actions of an alcoholic with an inadequate condition. Do not feel sorry for a man, if he is sober and sober in a sober manner, and in a drunken state - a family tyrant.

For example, in criminal law, alcoholic intoxication is considered not an aggravating but an aggravating circumstance in the commission of a crime. Therefore, one should never forgive a drinking person for his cruel and unseemly behavior.

Eliminate comfort

Problems arising from the abuse of alcohol, a person must decide for himself. Could not go to work - call the authorities and explain yourself. Arranged a drunken debauch - erase and clean up after yourself. Lent money - give yourself your debts.

The co-dependent in no case should not perform such actions, regretting the drunkard. In doing so, he creates for the alcoholic a comfortable environment, in which it is very pleasant to be. Of course, the patient does not see the point of refusing to drink alcohol. Do not solve the problem of an alcoholic, this is an important step that allows you to defeat co-addiction in alcoholism.

How to behave, if the dependent has an attack or crisis? In this situation, the help of relatives is simply necessary. However, remember: help - this is not a glass of vodka for opohmeleniya! This is an emergency call (if the crisis seems dangerous to health) or the police (if the patient's condition and his actions can harm relatives).

Do not be afraid to call for help. After all, the dependent at this moment is inadequate. Delay in this situation can have irreparable consequences.

Contact a specialist

In many clinics, simultaneous treatment is carried out for co-addiction in case of alcoholism and drunkenness. This brings very good results.

During treatment, communication is restricted. Thus it turns out to break the co-dependent communication. Close alcoholic during the therapy become self-sufficient personalities. Namely, such a self-assured person needs a former dependent person. It just does not give a chance to return to the old way of life.

People's opinion

So, if your family has co-dependence with alcoholism, how to get rid of it? Reviews of people who have encountered this problem indicate that they often turn to a psychologist. It is theoretically possible to get rid of codependence independently. But in practice this is obtained only in units.