Self improvementPsychology

An ancient problem of self-doubt. How to overcome self-doubt?

Insecurity is a problem that exists at all times, because there have always been indecisive people in society. This situation gives a lot of trouble, but, on the other hand, it becomes an occasion for further development of the individual. Let's look at this emotional state of the person, we learn the reason of its occurrence and ways, returning faith in itself.

The problem of insecurity

Weak-characteristic and insecure nature becomes a real puppet, which can be easily controlled by stronger individuals. It is enough for such a person to report the absurdity of his actions, and he, without hesitation, remakes what he started. This ancient problem of self-doubt prevents us from achieving the set goals, since the individual underestimates his abilities and is afraid to take a decisive step. So the opportunity to enter a prestigious university or to make new friends is lost.

An insecure individual is not always calm. He can behave quite aggressively towards others to compensate for his inferiority complex. For this reason, a person often applies physical strength to weak people.

The reason for the uncertainty

In each psychological theory, there are different versions of the emergence of uncertainty. According to Albert Bandura (Canadian psychologist), this sensation is born in childhood itself as a result of the child copying patterns of behavior of others. Also, if parents often told their child about the low level of development of his mental abilities, he begins to believe in it. Over the years, the imposed opinion is supported by failures in life, the brutal behavior of people around him and many others.

Martin Seligman (an American scientist) explains the reasons for the uncertainty that the personality of the child is affected not only by the behavior of adults, but also by the reaction of others. Such interaction determines the positive or negative development of the personality (learned helplessness).

The ancient problem of self-doubt is explained by the lack of result from human activity. It arises from low self-esteem, formed from a huge number of negative opinions of parents, teachers, friends. All this seriously reduces social initiative and creates negative emotions.

All considered reasons of the inferiority complex are formed in the process of development and formation of personality. Each person, when born is endowed with mental and physical disabilities that can complicate or facilitate socialization, but do not determine the level of self-confidence.

Positive side

Psychologists believe that such a character trait protects a person from negative encounters with the surrounding world. Over time, uncertainty turns into a high level of anxiety, and builds a psychological barrier within which is a secure human territory.

Diffidence. Symptoms

The main signal about the loss of faith in yourself is that a person does not try to achieve his goal only because he is afraid to try. Perhaps he convinced himself in advance of failure and fears ridicule, resentment and defeat. If you belong to the category of such people, remember: everyone's mistakes, but to take a decisive step, you need a character. It's better to fail than not to do anything. Too cautious people lose confidence in themselves simply because they do not have any achievements.

The second sign that you were visited by a virus of uncertainty is the embellishment of reality. The desire to speak untruth is due to the fact that the individual tries to make a good impression on other people and shows himself ostensibly on the positive side. The thing is that he has no other way to make others respect him, but from such a lie self-esteem is lost.

The third signal is low self-esteem. This problem is common among adolescents. In this case, it should be understood that there are many shortcomings in every person, but if you constantly look for them in yourself, you will constantly belittle yourself. It is necessary to urgently stop this, otherwise the ancient problem of insecurity will never be solved!

The fourth sign is the desire to be like everyone else, because the arguments of others seem more convincing than their own. To gain self-confidence requires the approval of other people. This entails the emergence of such harmful habits as smoking, drinking alcohol and even drugs. Conclusion: weak character can cause harm to health.

The fifth signal, indicating a negative emotional state - the desire to be like another person (behavior, image, appearance). Here is what psychology says about it: self-doubt arises when a person seeks to compare himself to others. Thus, it gives more importance to others than to itself. If you constantly look for yourself idol, the individual will always change and remain perplexed, as standards change. For this reason, a person will forever remain insecure! Self-esteem is possible only with the realization that each of us is unique.

The problem of insecurity: the arguments

Recognize a timid person is very simple for certain manners of behavior and communication:

  • People who are unsure of themselves deny compliments and joyful events, considering them an accident;
  • People who do not have faith in themselves, always try to justify themselves, if they look good;
  • The considered category of people always expresses their own judgments in the form of doubt, using the phrases "Is not it?", "Do you agree with me?", Etc .;
  • Own merit attributed to another person, for example: "Yes, I only helped a little, the main work was done by Marya Ivanovna";
  • Uncertain people think of themselves negatively and believe that they can not do anything, they always spoil everything, and so on.

If you are visited by such thoughts, drive them away, otherwise the feeling of insecurity will increase with time. Remember your victories and do not focus on defeats.

10 ways to overcome shyness

Do you want to change, but do not know how? Simple recommendations will help to solve the problem.

  1. Create a separate diary and record in it all your achievements, even the most insignificant.
  2. Do not criticize yourself for various failures and weaknesses, including for the smallest. Use the phrases "All the same, I'm good at what I tried," "It's okay, the next time you'll get it," and so on.
  3. Do not focus on negative thoughts and cases, learn to draw conclusions, then throw things out of your head that do not radically change your life.
  4. Stop comparing yourself with others and remember that ideal people do not exist.
  5. Make yourself, for example, such settings: "I can", "Next time I will do better," "Today I will have a wonderful day."
  6. Do not be shy with compliments and answer them with sincere "thanks."
  7. When talking with people, tell them more than pleasant. They will also begin to see in you the positive side.
  8. Surround yourself with cheerful and good friends, they will surely make you happy.
  9. Watch your gait: it should be calm and confident, go with your head always held up.
  10. Smile more often and think positively about your future.

You will be happy in the environment of positive people, and the ancient problem of insecurity makes you unhappy not only you, but your loved ones. Work on yourself, then joy, independence, ability to solve problems, belief in yourself and much more will be your reward.

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