A few answers to the painful question of why I have no friends

The fact that man is a social being, is unnecessary to prove. Even the most finished introvert sometimes wants to talk, if not stay in the company of someone, to feel someone's support, or at least understanding and empathy with the processes that are happening in the soul. However, more and more people in our technogenic age are suffering from loneliness and are asking themselves: why do I have no friends? We live not on an uninhabited island, around - full of people, but call a friend of someone ... And let's firstly ask ourselves: who is this "friend" and how it differs from simply "friend" and "friend".

Most likely, each of us at least once in my life, but had an experience of friendship (successful or unsuccessful is another matter). Recollect, what distinguished this person from others? First of all, you both wanted to communicate. You always had something to tell each other. And you were not afraid to share with this person your most secret thoughts, did not fear that you would be ridiculed or torn off with contempt. Secondly, you also were motivated by the desire to help your friend: you deeply sympathized with all his misfortunes and joys. And, most importantly, you perceived it as it is, that is, did not try to "treat" it and educate it. You gave advice, and did not impose your opinion, just as it was from him that he was expected to receive friendly advice and tips, not orders and moralizing. Now it's time to move on to the question of why someone has lots of friends, and I do not have real friends?

It's silly to blame ourselves that we do not have that "organ" that is friendly. It's silly to blame others that they indifferently pass by you and do not want to see what a wonderful person you are. But still, the answer to the question of why I have no friends lies in the plane of interpersonal communication between you and the surrounding society. A person who has 100 friends is not afraid to reveal himself to other people. In this sense, we can say that friendship is a really risky business. But, as they say, who does not take risks, there is nobody to drink champagne with.

Believe me, there are people in your circle who you are interested in. Only, perhaps, few among them are so stubborn and patient to endure your "snorting of a prickly hedgehog."

Perhaps your insularity has its reasons: the betrayal of former so-called friends can nullify the credibility of the whole human race. However, if someone betrayed you, this does not mean that the other person will do the same, and treason is not a reason to say: "I have no more friends." If you are an introvert, you suffer less from loneliness, but your inner world will not suffer at all if you let in another person. Start a blog and write down your experiences and interesting thoughts - in time you will have virtual "friends" who - who knows? - can become real friends in real life.

"Whoever loves - we love" - is sung in a famous song. The answer to the question of why I do not have friends is often hidden in unwillingness or inability to love. You want to share your feelings, tell us about the hardships, but it's terribly tedious to listen to someone's stories about sores and family vicissitudes of little-known people? Try to treat people not as a means to pour out your own soul, but as to another world, unexplored and very interesting.

Suppose you have a completely opposite case: you are very fond of delving into someone else's life, adore listening to stories about other people and commenting on who acted rightly and who is fundamentally wrong. For all your sociability and desire to give others wise advice (because you know life so!), Very soon you begin to feel a vacuum around yourself and ask yourself puzzled: why do I have no friends? Friendship is based on respect for the other as a person. Give advice not at every opportunity, but only when people do ask them. Do not teach, do not moralize, and in no case do not manipulate people.