8 attractive qualities that people look for in a partner

If you want to increase your sexual attractiveness, move away from the mirror.

Business Insider asked the group of experts on dating and relationships to share the most attractive qualities in a potential partner, and no one mentioned physical features. Of course, looking good is important, but it looks like people are also looking for someone who is self-confident and good at others.

Read on to find out what kind of character traits you need to work to attract love.

Confidence

"Whether they know it or not, but trust is an important feature that people are looking for in a partner," says Michael McNulty, a master trainer and certified therapist for relations from the Chicago Center for Communications.

In fact, research tells us that people are only then inclined to move from romantic meetings to long-term relationships when they feel they can trust a potential partner. Trust in relationships is associated not only with sincerity, but also with investments in relationships. This is a sense of commitment to each other. The point is that both partners are true to themselves and their common relationship. They are honest about what they want, and are determined to work on their differences in search of a compromise.

Friendliness

"Partners who try to get to know each other better each other, appreciate each other, and also catch and react to attempts and emotional manifestations of each other, not only lovers, but also friends," says McNulty.

This involves support, humor, empathy and many other positive qualities. Friendship builds and improves emotional intimacy in the long run, and romance only helps lovers to reveal each other in a new way each time.

Vulnerability

"We like people who are strong enough to show and open themselves without checking for trust," says Hal Runkel, a marriage and family psychotherapist and author of "Choose Your Adult Life."

Love for yourself

"We like people who can laugh at themselves and yet feel comfortable in their bodies and actually love themselves for who they are," says Runkel.

Confidence

"We like reliable people who can strive for what they want without having to prove something to someone," Runkel said.

Joseph Burgot, the psychotherapist and author of Narcissus, whom you know, says something similar: "High self-esteem is sexual if it does not enter narcissistic self-absorption."

When we are involved in a romantic relationship, we put a part of our identity in a couple that we form together with another person. Because people feel the need to join someone who has high self-confidence and makes them feel good.

Sincere interest

"Anyone who asks you questions about you and makes every effort to understand you is extremely attractive," says Burgo.

We all want to feel that we are attractive and interesting for our potential romantic partners. In addition, a person who shows real interest in who we are, at the outset, is likely to be a more understanding partner in the long term.

Dr. Terry Orbuh (PhD), a relationship expert, a professor at the University of Auckland and author of "The New Search for Love: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship" agrees with this point of view and says: "If you constantly spend time" selling "yourself , You seem to be self-centered, you may feel the need to "sell" yourself to a potential partner, but in fact, if you continue to talk about yourself, you will alienate another person. Relations, even at the very beginning, are giving and accepting. Those interlocutors who ask questions about them, and then listen attentively to the answers, which means that they are curious, interested in them, as individuals, really want to get to know them. "All these are excellent qualities for future relations."

Sense of humor

"Humor makes any relationship and any meeting is better," says Orbukh.

It's very nice when you're in a good mood, and it's fun to be with someone who likes to laugh and has a good sense of humor. If someone is too serious, it seems that you need to work very hard to be with him. But it's much easier when you're just laughing at something together.

But Orbukh also warns people that they sometimes try too hard: "Stay away from self-deprecating humor, for example, making fun of your own chosen career or your own family."

Optimism

"We are attracted to people who are positive and optimistic, can sincerely laugh and smile," says Orbukh.

Negativity generates a negative, and when we are with people around which there is negative energy (depressiveness, despondency), this affects our mood and prospects in life and in general. Therefore, we want to be with someone who is optimistic, focused on the positive and knows how to see the good in most situations.