What should I do if my mother-in-law got it out?

Nowadays many daughters-in-law often complain about an unfulfilled relationship with the mother of her husband, arguing literally that her mother-in-law "got it." And this expression is often pronounced not only by those who just married and did not have time to adapt to new relatives, but also those who already have quite a decent experience. What to do in a situation where the second mother simply does not give life and constantly interferes with her necessary and unnecessary advice? One thing is clear: if you "got" your mother-in-law, then you should not suffer any more, because if you do not limit this intervention in time, then it will only get worse.

Precautionary measures

To begin with, when an adult married couple lives with their parents in the same house that does not belong to them, then almost always there is a lot of difficulties. Previously, when people lived in large families, in which there were at least three generations, such questions arose, but were smoothed out by the fact that under such conditions the majority lived, and this situation was generally accepted. The status and influence of each family member depended on his age. Now everyone is striving for independence, and therefore such conditions for most young people are unacceptable. That is why, in order not to "get" the mother-in-law, initially one should plan a separate life, regardless of the parents both from the husband and from the wife. Let it be a rented inexpensive apartment, let it be difficult, but no one will prevent you from building your own family happiness.

What should I do if my mother-in-law "got it"? Practical tips

The likelihood that the daughter-in-law and mother of her husband will become wonderful friends is the same as the likelihood that they will turn into irreconcilable enemies. The real cases when they can not get along together, in fact, very little, and if they occur, they are linked either to mental disabilities, or to a pathological loop on the son. All other cases can and must be overcome. If the mother-in-law "got out", first of all you should try to call her to a frank conversation. Try to put yourself in its place. It is not so easy for a mother to take, and to release her child, into which all life was invested. Therefore, it's worth to calmly explain to her that you love her son no less than she. Try to quietly listen to her recommendations and advice, let it be nice, but at the same time, act as you see fit. Sometimes the cause of her mother-in-law's annoyance is her jealousy. In this case, the daughter-in-law is perceived as the invader, who "surrounded" and took away her beloved son. In this case, you need to ask your loved one to pay more attention to the mother, so that she does not have a feeling of lack of affection. Here is another good way that you can use if your mother-in-law has got it out of economic issues. It is called "provocative therapy". If the second mother loves to give her advice, then with her unexpected appearance, express joy, and referring to her employment, entrust her with all the cases in which she (in her opinion) understands better. After that, quickly go to work or for some other reason, and in the evening, with all your heart, thank and say that she scared you out terribly. The main thing is to gain strength of spirit and courage for this transition period. And there, you see, everything will gradually improve itself.