How to say "no" and not offend the interlocutor?

Every day each of us receives from the people a huge number of requests and requests. Some of them can not be abandoned, but I would like others, but not always. When, in fact, should I agree to help, and when does it make sense to refuse? How to say "no" and keep a good relationship with the person who addressed you?

When is it really necessary to say "no"?

Do you always agree to help when you are asked to do this? In some situations, even the thought of refusal is impossible, for example, if the request comes from the manager and directly relates to your responsibilities. If you are asked about something by a person with whom you are not bound by debt obligations, you should seriously think about the negative answer. To be guided follows an opportunity of rendering assistance - do you have enough resources (temporary, material or otherwise) to agree? Will not the performance of someone else's duties and errands damage your business? Be sure to listen to your own emotions. Do you feel indifference, or is it joy? And maybe, irritation, and the whole point is that you do not know how to say "no"?

Why is it so difficult to refuse?

Regular help to others makes you feel right. This feeling is not enough for many people in the modern world. Others agree because of the fear of conflict. We are afraid to quarrel because of a refusal with the applicant or to hear criticism in his address. Some skilled manipulators are trying to convince their victims that in exchange for help they will someday offer their own. Surely, personally you had to render some kind of "rich and important" services, which afterwards forgot about these promises or were completely incompetent. Another reason for the rash concord - you just do not know how to say "no." The refusal itself is a nonsense for you and for this reason it is much easier for you to agree, rather than to answer negatively.

Be able to say no!

The easiest way to refuse is to tell the truth to the person you are talking to. Do not invent the reasons, just explain why you can not or do not want to agree to his request. Be prepared for the fact that a refusal will be followed by many counterarguments or persuasions. The best position in this situation is to calmly but confidently repeat "no" and to refer to the fact that the reasons have already been explained. The ability to say "no" is a skill that needs to be developed and improved, so do not be discouraged if it does not work out the first time.

Another effective way to say "no" is to recognize your own incompetence. Explain to the petitioner that you really are not the best candidate to fulfill his mandate. Do not hesitate to respond to rudeness if someone regularly shifts their responsibilities to you. One day just ask: "Why should I help you?". In order not to offend the interlocutor, before he refuses, ask him in detail about the problem and offer alternative solutions. It is possible that after a detailed analysis of the situation and the need for assistance will disappear, and accordingly, you do not have to think how to say "no."