Funny utterances and funny aphorisms

Since ancient times, people have used the wise sayings of outstanding representatives of mankind in order to express their opinion with them and give it more weight. And it does not matter whether the author's name or aphorism is known belongs to popular wisdom. Funny statements are a special success. After all, they help not only to express their attitude towards something, but also to shine with a sense of humor.

Men about women

With the advent of social networks on the Internet began a real battle of the sexes. Women are looking for interesting statuses to show their attitude to the universe and men, in particular. A strong sex uses ridiculous sayings as a weapon to resist it.

• If it is true that men and women are from different planets, then the first contact with aliens has already taken place.
• Men love women with the past, because they hope that history will repeat itself.
• If the offended wife pauses for a long time, be ready for a long monologue. If the pause is held for a long time by the husband, it means that he is simply not allowed to say. (The laws of family dramaturgy).
• For your beauty, I have too bad taste.
• Be engaged in searches of yourself, then the husband will be found.
• A person who does not know the value of his time, shamelessly spends someone else's.
• Would you like to have the last word in the dispute? Tell the opponent that they agree with his opinion.
• Anyway, we all pay for sex, but only corrupt women honestly call the price.
• Did you lose your happiness? Do not be upset, around is completely tied.
• Marriage is the eternal struggle of harassment with malaise.
• A smart woman is often a threat to her husband's reputation. A foolish person only jeopardizes himself.

Female funny statements

The best half of humanity also perfectly manipulates aphorisms. Women can use them to laugh at themselves, and to point out to men their mistakes.

• Real men do not coward - they doubt.
• When eagles are silent, parrots talk.
• It's easy to say "I'm going to die for you" when there is no need for such a sacrifice.
• Women never lie! They just had a memory of a girl, and then a sclerosis.
• With a good wife and a man can become a man.
• Funny statements about blondes make up lonely evenings terrible brunettes.
• If fate hit on the forehead, then kick in the ass did not work.
• It's better to be a young grandmother than an old girl.
• The truth should be presented accurately, like a dish of author's cuisine, and not dumped like fresh fish on the Privoz.
• Women's friendship is only a suspension of military operations.
• It's nothing, that the wind is in your head, but the ideas are always fresh.
• Some men resemble clouds when they leave to become lighter.
• My preferences are simple - I am satisfied with the best.
• The only medicine that brings a woman more benefit than harm is a new dress.

Funny aphorisms and statements on general topics

• Do not argue with a fool. After all, a dispute is an exchange of thoughts, and stupidity is contagious.
• Every company has a stupid friend. If your not, then it's you.
• The deeper the crisis in the country, the more TV shows about the supernatural.
• There is no tail wind in my head.
• Education should be obtained not for crusts, but for the cortex of the brain.
• The implanted back means that you are walking ahead.
• A person must sometimes be able to laugh at himself, otherwise he will go mad. But unfortunately, few people know about this, so there are so many crazy people in the world.
• The worm of doubt usually eats up all the fruits of meditation.
• If the negative result is also the result, then we have a very productive country.
• Corrupt people always do everything for the benefit of their homeland. The only question for whose.
• The trouble with the world is that fools are self-confident, and intellectuals are full of doubts.
• In politics, stupidity is not an obstacle.

Pearls of the mighty of this world

It happens that a ridiculous, ridiculous statement, once escaped from the lips of a politician, is remembered more than all his activities.

• We have enough people who, as they say, do not have friends with their heads.
• As they say, you can feel with your own eyes and look with your hands.
• I approached people from your Cabinet and asked who they are by profession. It turned out that somewhere a gynecologist is working, somewhere - a plumber. (V. Yanukovych).

• Condoleezza Rice is just as simple a girl from Texas as I am.
• In my childhood, I dreamed of becoming an astronaut, but I had to learn a lot, so I became president.
• Only we, the great American people, could send a lunar rover to Mars! (George W. Bush).