The child cries in the kindergarten: what to do? Komarovsky: adaptation of the child in kindergarten. Psychologist's advice

Few children have the first visit to kindergarten without tears. But if some people adapt to a child's preschool institution without a trace, and literally in a week or two the child remains calm for a day's sleep, then for others this process is delayed for a long time, and constant crying alternates with endless illnesses. Why does a child cry in the kindergarten? What to do? Komarovsky EO - children's doctor, the author of popular books and TV shows about children's health - gives a detailed explanation of how to solve these problems correctly without harming the child and family. Read more about this in our article.

Why the child does not want to go to the kindergarten

Most of the children begin to attend kindergarten at the age of two or three years. The period of adaptation to the garden is often accompanied by crying or hysterics. Here you need to figure out why the child does not want to go to the kindergarten, and help him overcome this barrier.

The main reason for the negative attitude towards the kindergarten in the child is connected with parting with the parents. It turns out that until three years old the child was inextricably linked with his mother and suddenly he was left in an unfamiliar environment surrounded by strangers. At the same time, they also demand that he eat and perform a number of actions that he can not do under stress conditions. His familiar world, familiar from childhood, turns around, and tears in this case will be inevitable.

So, there are six main reasons why a child does not want to go to a kindergarten :

1. He does not want to part with his mother (excessive care).
2. He is afraid that he will not be taken from the kindergarten.
3. He is afraid of the collective and the new institution.
4. He is afraid of the teacher.
5. He is offended in the garden.
6. In the kindergarten, the baby feels lonely.

Another thing is that children, like adults, are also different and do not respond equally to the situation. Someone quickly adapts to the new team, and someone can not join it even after years of communication. In this situation, parents need to prepare the child in advance for separation, so that tears at parting do not lead to hysterics for several hours.

What if the baby cries in the kindergarten?

All the causes of crying in children during adaptation to kindergarten are considered quite normal. For the most part, during the first hour, children calm down, the task of parents to help the child learn how to cope with emotions and try to find out from himself why the child cries in the kindergarten.

What to do, Komarovsky explains as follows:

1. To minimize stress, addiction to the kindergarten should be gradual. The worst option is when the mother takes the child to the kindergarten in the morning, leaves him there crying for the whole day, and she safely goes to work. So to act categorically is not recommended. Competent and correct adaptation assumes that the time of stay in the garden should be increased gradually: first for 2 hours, then for an after-dinner sleep, then for dinner. And each subsequent stage should start only after successfully overcoming the previous one. If a child does not eat breakfast in the garden, then it is unreasonable to leave it until after dinner.
2. Expand the circle of communication. It is advisable to begin acquaintance with the children visiting the same group, even before entering the kindergarten. So the first friends will appear at the child, and psychologically it will be easier for him in the garden, knowing that Masha or Vanya also go to him. Vnesadikovskoe communication is also an excellent training for immunity.
3. Talk with the child. Important: every day you should definitely ask the baby how his day went, what he learned new today, what he ate, etc. This will help to cope more quickly with psychological stress. It is necessary to praise the baby for his first achievements. If the child is not talking yet, be interested in his achievements at the tutor, and the kid simply praise for them.

These simple actions are actually effective and will certainly help to cope with tears in the kindergarten.

Should I drive to the kindergarten if the child cries?

From the point of view of sociology, psychology and pedagogy, a kindergarten is regarded as a positive factor contributing to the full development of the child and his correct upbringing. Collective life teaches the child to communicate with peers and with adults, so that in time it will be easier for him to study at school and build relationships with management and colleagues at work.

Timely preparation of the child for kindergarten begins a few months before the planned event, but even in this case, problems with adaptation are possible. It is easier for children to adapt to a new collective, with a high degree of adaptation, which does not cause a special discomfort in changing the situation. It is more difficult for babies with a low degree of adaptation. They are often used such term as "nesadikovsky child". One hundred to make parents of such children? Should I take the child to the kindergarten if he cries?

The answer to the last question parents should give themselves. An important role in this is also played by how often the kid is sick. Usually, children with low adaptation dramatically reduced immunity, so they are more susceptible to various diseases. If a mother can afford to sit with her child at home, then she may well make such a decision for herself. But it is worth considering that, as a rule, these children are not easily accustomed not only to the kindergarten, but also to the collective in the school.

Adaptation of the child in kindergarten: advice of a psychologist

The topic of adapting children to kindergarten is considered very common among psychologists. And this question is really very serious, since the subsequent attitude of the child to school depends on it.

What should be the adaptation of the child in kindergarten? Psychologist's advice is reduced to the following list of recommendations:

1. The optimal age for the first visit to the kindergarten is from 2 to 3 years. To get acquainted with the new collective should be before the well-known "crisis of three years" comes.
2. You can not scold a child because he cries in the kindergarten and does not want to visit him. The kid just expresses his emotions, and punishing, mum only develops in him a sense of guilt.
3. Try even before visiting the kindergarten to come to him on an excursion, get acquainted with the group, with the children, with the tutor.
4. Play with the child in the kindergarten. Let the puppets be educators and children in the kindergarten. Show the child on an example, how can be fun and interesting in it.
5. Adaptation of the child in the garden can be more successful if you take the child to another member of your family, for example, a dad or grandmother, that is, to whom he is emotionally less attached.

Try to do everything possible to make the addiction as gentle as possible for the baby and not break his fragile child's psyche.

Preparing the child for kindergarten

According to Dr. Komarovsky, changing the familiar situation for the child almost always causes him stress. To avoid this, it is necessary to follow simple rules that will prepare the child for life in the team.

Preparing a child for kindergarten consists of several stages:

1. Period of psychological adaptation. Prepare for the trip to kindergarten you need to start about 3-4 months before the scheduled date. In the form of a game, the child needs to explain what kindergarten is, why they go there, what will he do there. At this stage, it is important to interest the child, to show him the advantages of visiting the garden, to tell how lucky he is that he is going to this institution, because many parents would like to send children there, but they chose him because he is the very-very.
2. Preparation of immunity. Try to have a good summer in the summer, give the child more fresh fruits and vegetables, and at least a month before visiting the kindergarten, it is advisable to drink a course of vitamins for children attending kindergarten. This will not save the baby from infection during the period of acute respiratory diseases, but they will flow much easier, without complications to other organs and systems. At the very beginning of the disease, as soon as the child feels unwell, you need to take his kindergarten and begin treatment, because in this case even an adapted child can begin to cry.
3. Observance of the regime. Regardless of whether the child has already gone to kindergarten or just going to, it is important to adhere to this mode of sleep and rest, as in the kindergarten. In this case, the baby, getting into new conditions for him, will feel more comfortable with him psychologically.
4. Tell the child that in the kindergarten the teachers will always come to the rescue. For example, if he wants to drink, it is enough to ask the tutor about this.

And most importantly, you should never frighten a child with a kindergarten.

The first day in kindergarten

This is the most difficult day in the life of mom and baby. The first day in the kindergarten is an alarming and exciting moment, from which it often depends how easy or difficult it will be to adapt.

Turn the first visit to the kindergarten on the holiday will help the following recommendations:

1. To the morning rise did not become for the child an unpleasant surprise, prepare it in advance for the fact that tomorrow he goes to the kindergarten.
2. In the evening, prepare clothes and toys that the kid may want to take with him.
3. It is better to go to bed on time to feel more cheerful in the morning.
4. Morning behave calmly, as if nothing exciting is happening. A child should not see your experiences.
5. In the kindergarten the child needs to help undress and bring him to the tutor. It is not necessary to escape stealthily as soon as the baby turns away. Mom should explain to the child herself that she is going to work and say that she will return for him. And this is not due to the fact that the child is crying in the kindergarten. What to do, Komarovsky explains that it is important for the child to know that he will be taken away as soon as he has breakfast or plays.
6. Do not leave the baby on the first day for more than 2 hours.

What should the caregiver do if the child cries in the garden?

A lot in the adaptation of children to the kindergarten depends on the caregiver. He should in some way be a psychologist who knows first-hand the problems of children in kindergarten. During the adaptation the educator should directly contact the parents. If the child cries, he should try to calm the baby. But if the child does not go to the contact, stubborn and begins to cry even louder, the next time he has to ask his mother how to influence him. Perhaps the baby has some favorite games that will distract him from tears.

It is important that the teacher in the garden does not put pressure on the child and does not blackmail him. This is unacceptable. To threaten that your mother will not come for you, just because you did not eat porridge, first of all inhumane. The educator should become the child's friend, and then the kid will visit the kindergarten with pleasure.

The child cries on the way to the kindergarten

Typical for many families is the situation when the child begins to cry at home and continues to do it on the way to the kindergarten. Not all parents can safely withstand such behavior on the street, and begins to find out the relationship, which often ends in a grand tantrum.

The reasons why the child cries, does not want to go to the kindergarten and arranges tantrums on the way:

• The kid just does not get enough sleep and rises from the bed without any mood. In this case, try to go to bed early.
• Allow enough time for morning awakening. You do not need to get dressed from the bed and run to the kindergarten. Let the baby spend 10-15 minutes in bed, watch cartoons, etc.
• Prepare small presents for children or a teacher. You can buy small sweets that the child will give to children after breakfast, cookies, sheets with coloring, printed on the home printer. Talk about the fact that he goes not just to a kindergarten, but will be a magician in it and will bring gifts to children.

What to do so that the child does not cry in the kindergarten?

What can parents do to prevent the child from crying in the kindergarten:

• To carry out psychological preparation of the kid for 3-4 months prior to the beginning of visiting of a garden;
• More often tell the kid about the benefits of the garden, for example many kids like to hear that they have become adults;
• On the first day in the kindergarten do not leave it for more than 2 hours;
• Allow to bring a toy from home (only not too expensive);
• Clearly specify the time frame when his mother takes it, for example after breakfast, after dinner or after a walk;
• его о прошедшем дне каждый раз; Communicate with the child and ask him about the past day each time;
• Do not be nervous and do not show it to the child, no matter how hard it may be for you.

Common Parental Mistakes

Most often, parents make the following mistakes in adapting a child to a kindergarten:

1. Stop adapting right away if the child did not cry the first day in kindergarten. The kid can quite well carry a one-time parting with his mother, but it's not rare that on the third day in the kindergarten the child cries because he was immediately left for the whole day.
2. Suddenly they leave without saying goodbye. In a child, this can cause the most severe stress.
3. They blackmail the child with a kindergarten.
4. Some parents give in to manipulation if the child cries in the kindergarten. What to do, Komarovsky explains that to succumb to children's moods or hysterics is not worth it. From the fact that you allow the baby to stay at home today, he will not stop crying tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

If parents see that it is difficult for the child to adapt to the kindergarten, and they do not know how to help the baby, they should consult a psychologist. Consultations to parents in kindergarten will help to develop a set of actions, thanks to which the baby will gradually become accustomed to life in the team. However, all this will be effective only if the parents are attentive and interested in taking the child to a kindergarten and will not, at the first opportunity, evade the advice of a psychologist.